A Bel box in Hogwarts
by XxAlysxX
Summary: The new DADA co-teacher was weird and overly suspicious. Everything he did stood out even when he didn't have facial expressions and had the worse monotone ever and Harry has had Binns for the last 5 years, that was saying something! Actually Harry was pretty sure that Professor Fran was secretly, or not so secretly, a death eater. It only made sense! Now with plot.
1. Chapter 1: Professor Fran

**Harry Potter and Katekyo Hitman Reborn don't belong to me but I do have fun messing around with situations with me. Don't worry Lucky Moon in the Sky fans I'm still going with that one but I'm trying to see if I can work the story better instead of having it bleed all over the place.**

**This little story is to relieve my ache to write.**

**It's not mean to be taken too seriously.**

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**A Bel box in Hogwarts**

**Chapter 1: Professor Fran**

Harry Potter, 15 (currently), had been through many things in his life.

He fought his archenemy, Lord Voldemort, four times. He rescued his godfather, discovered a teacher of fraud twice, destroyed a teacher physically, fought a basilisk, seen a unicorn die, rode a hippogriff and made friends, best friends and enemies alike.

This is probably why he couldn't get over the new DADA co-teacher, Professor Fran, who had no last name and didn't bother to wear robes instead he wore a leather jacket with white bands on the arm.

Hermione, one of his best friends, confided to him later that she wasn't even sure he had proper education!

Although this assumption (probably true though) came from that day's lesson and a little bit from Hermione's jealousy due to his young age.

He was teaching them superhero poses as a practical lesson. What kind of teacher does that!

He was suspicious as hell and even Professor Umbridge, the other co-teacher of DADA (for the theory part), had trouble accepting him.

He was rude, his facial expressions (or lack of) never changed even doing the most embarrassing female poses, and the only person to truly accept him in the school was Professor Dumbledore.

That wasn't say much!

Harry would keep a close eye on the frog hat (sometime Professor Fran insisted was a frog and not a toad) wearing, green haired (that wasn't natural unless he was a Metamorphmagus, something Harry had trouble believing), deadpanned teacher.

'Ah. Mr Potter, stop staring like that. It looks like you're a secret pervert that wants to rape me...You look like the Gaylord and the pervert's lovechild,' said Professor Fran, stoic as ever and monotone as well. It was worse than Binns, the only ghost teacher that sent people to sleep.

That was another thing Harry couldn't take was the embarrassing insults and random references to anything.

_This year was going to suck_ Harry thought with his cheeks steadily rising in colour.

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**Yeah I'm going to be picking on Harry a lot through this story and some of the characters are going to be a bit OOC but all done in the name of humour.**


	2. Chapter 2: toad hat

**Harry Potter and Katekyo Hitman Reborn aren't mine and this story is currently unbetaed.**

**Also I would like to thank elleraine08, for the first follow just what? An hour and 15 minutes after I posted the story.**

**I would also like to thank TheNSIGirl and foreverLuNa for following/favouriting and also reviewing, that had to be the fast reviews I had ever gotten for a story.**

_**Edit: less than 12 hours after posting chapter, I missed out on the numbering. Just shows that beta readers are truly useful.**_

_**Also while I'm here for the edit, to foreverLuNa's review:**_

_**I'm not too sure if I'll add other KHR characters in but now that you mention it, it would be fun to add them in. A little variety does help in a diet.** _

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**Chapter 2: Toad hats**

Professor Fran had been talking about the different meanings of superhero poses and why they were like that when Hermione put her hand up. Professor Fran stopped talking and stared blankly at her.

Hermione took it as a yes.

'Professor Fran, why do you wear a toad hat?' asked Hermione as politely as she could since what she was asking. Harry could almost swear on Merlin's beard that her eyes were shining in curiosity.

'Eh. A toad hat. I thought it was a frog hat. Bell sen pie told me so. Should had known that fake prince was lying,' this was all said in a monotone so the questions sounded like comments and it took Harry a few moments to realise that because he never heard Professor Fran ask a question before.

When he did get it he still felt as confused as he did a few minutes ago, what in the name of Merlin was a "Bell sen pie"? And wasn't Professor Fran's hat of a weird magical toad?

'It's a frog?' Harry heard a person question in a whisper, probably over from the Hufflepuff side.

'Yes. I was a replacement so I have to wear a frog hat according to the fake prince sen pie,'

Harry had to wonder what kind of messed up Hogwarts tradition was that? He'd never seen any of the other teachers wear that kind of hat before.

'Whose replacement were you?' questioned Hermione; she truly was the smartest and bravest witch in their year.

'Mammon's but Mammon disappeared a little while ago. Master gave me to the stupid idiotic loud group. Boss is always sleeping and the second-in-command is a loud, long haired, girly shark and Bell sen pie always has the stupid knives out,'

Now there were several things floating around Harry's head.

1) The new co-teacher was sent from Voldemort.

2) Professor Fran was a part of the Order of the Phoenix.

3) If Professor Dumbledore was sleeping as much as Professor Fran claimed then his age truly must be catching up to him...and it kind explains where Professor Dumbledore was around the time of his trials.

4) Professor McGonagall had long hair and was secretly a loud talker.

5) Bell sen pie must actually be Molly, his other best friend's mother, and sen must mean something like a hyphen. Professor Fran's nickname for her must actually be pronounced as Bell pie.

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Later as Harry was walking to potions alone, he needed to get his books and Ron, Molly's son and his best friend, forgot to tell him, when he overheard Professor McGonagall talking loudly to someone.

'Albus, are you sure Fran is okay to be a part of our...side? Don't you think he's secretly going to go against us because of you-know-what?' said Professor McGonagall.

'Nonsense, of course Fran isn't against us, he was sent here by his group,'

Harry really wanted to yell at Professor Dumbledore to stop accepting people from Lord Voldemort already.

'That's even more suspicious!' screeched Professor McGonagall before taking deep breaths. Harry wanted to thank her for voicing what he wanted to say from the bottom of his heart but he didn't want to get caught.

'Now, now don't get your bun undone. I know how much time it takes you to put it up,'

'Very well Albus,'

Harry of course thought it was suspicious.

May be Hermione should look up who the teacher was meant to before Professor Fran replaced.

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**Lol misunderstanding and situations make the world go around...hehehe Bell pie...Yeah I had a lot of fun with this.**

**Don't misunderstand like Harry, Fran is a part of Varia.**

**A little bit of Dumbedore bashing but come on, when will he not stop accepting death eaters into the school or frauds?**


	3. Chapter 3: fruit

**Harry Potter and Katekyo Hitman Reborn don't belong to me.**

**Many of you may wonder, why is XxAlysxX posting up again so soon?**

**Answer: Because I had too much fun with this one and wanted to spread it as fast as I could.**

**Also thank you to: **

**HakumeiTwinBlade and Chi-Tanda for following.**

**HakumeiTwinBlade and Little yellow dandelion for favouriting.**

**Chi-Tanda and forever LuNa for reviewing.**

**To Chi-Tanda's review: It's actually reeeealllly hard to create Fran's sarcasm for me. I had to go to TV Tropes to get a sense of what kind of sarcasm and snarker he was but I'm glad you like it!**

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**Chapter 3: Fruit**

Harry thought Professor Fran, who he was so sure was a death eater and secretly working for the Order of the Phoenix, like comparing people to fruit if he disliked them.

Like in class that day Professor Fran, wandlessly, hexed Ron to have a large tomato hat as big as Professor Fran's hat on his head. Hermione tried to get the hex off with everything she knew but it stayed there.

Also a few days ago he called Hermione a "know-it-all hairy kiwi fruit" which sent her to tears and she ran out of the room.

He then had the gull to question the class of where she went and why did she run away.

He was cruel, mean, a member of the Order of the Phoenix and a death eater to boot.

Sometimes Harry wondered if Professor Dumbledore enjoyed placing death eaters in the school.

'Professor Fran, why do you call people horrible names and put mean hexes on them?' asked Hermione that day in class after twelve minutes and twenty spells later that did nothing.

'Eh. Horrible names and mean hexes.'

'Yes! You're a teacher! You shouldn't do that to your students!' shouted Hermione to Professor Fran and honestly Harry had never seen her so angry.

'Master call me names all the time. He called me brat; damn fruit, useless brat, stupid brat, apple head, idiot disciple, idiot, he and the others also cursed at me and chased me around. It was annoying. Stupid cross-dressing, red eyed, pineapple Master and his idiot fairy gang.'

Harry really didn't want to know what Voldemort did in his spare time but Professor Fran must be really high up if he knows that Voldemort cross-dresses but it only confirms that Voldemort was his master because who else had red eyes?

Actually Harry was surprised that Professor Fran was still alive since Harry knew that even Bellatrix Lestrange, his right hand woman, still got tortured.

Harry vowed from then on that he would watch all the moves that Professor Fran made...that was three hours ago and so far Ron still had the tomato hat on, Hermione was still shocked and going through the library searching for "Mammon" and Harry still couldn't find Professor Fran on his Marauder's map.

So today failed.

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**Hahahaha. Does anyone else laugh when trying to imagine Voldemort in girl's dresses?**

**Harry has a long way to go to finding our resident mist user of Varia since Fran had a lot of practice from Bel.**


	4. Chapter 4: Wands

**I don't own Harry Potter or Katekyo Hitman Reborn. I only make it funny.**

**Also thanks to: **

**VFran, Seithr-Kairy, Ivalance, Feidee, truevampireprincess, Rairyu no Ikari and nhwaun for favouriting (and any of you get easier names like L? or Draco? or even Bel? Please?)**

**Yume Li, Ivalance, tsunahime0602, Rairyu no Ikari and nhwaun for following.**

**To:**

**HakumeiTwinBlade: I am so on it! Kufufufufufu**

**forever LuNa: If I were to kill you with this then I would have no use for a Death Note. Just joking but I'm glad you like it.**

**Rairyu no Ikari: Well for posting, I thought to myself at one point of the story I should post one chapter for every hour but then realised waking up to post a chapter at 5am in the morning would be too painful to me so it's irregular, probably every few days although.**

**MrsRegulusBlack123: I know I can't wait to see what comes next either and I make the stuff!**

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**Chapter 4: Wands**

Harry, well actually Hermione mentioned it, noticed that Professor Fran through all of his lessons, from superhero poses and their meanings to how to bend metal (Harry wasn't sure what the point of those lessons were), never lifted a wand.

He was as bad as a teacher as Professor Umbridge when it came to lessons but Professor Umbridge at least waved her wand around as if mocking them for the theory lessons.

The only magic the class had seen from him was the random fruit hats he'd put on people.

Harry had wondered if his wand was snapped and hoped it wasn't another Hagrid incident again as much as he loves Hagrid.

Surprisingly it was Lavender Brown, who had a weird scaly fruit hat on her that asked the question.

'Professor Fran can we see your wand?' she asked bluntly.

Professor Fran stared at her, his face still unchanged.

'Miss Dragon-fruit head I don't feel like pulling my pants down in class and certainly not in front of students. I thought the students here weren't like the perverted pineapple Master and Gaylord but I was wrong. Please don't ask again perverted Dragon-fruit head and listen to the boring lecture.'

Lavender had blushed, which clashed with the hat on her, at the remark before putting her head to the desk to hide it.

'Miss perverted Brown Dragon-fruit head don't fall asleep. You're meant to listen to the boring lecture. Actually you're now Gaylord number two. From now on don't touch other people and try not to talk. I don't want to hear your Gaylord comments.'

'Stop it! She tried to ask you a legitimate question so stop calling her Gaylord!' yelled Harry to Professor Fran.

In all honesty Harry was expecting a detention with Filch, the caretaker of the school, or Professor Snape, his most hated Professor (Professor Fran was drawing with Professor Umbridge for second place).

'Ah. We have a loud girly second-in-command angel shark. You're girly commander number two. We now have a Gaylord and girly commander numbers two. Let's find more. I want to see if I can find perverted pineapple Master.'

Harry was in a mixture of confused, frustrated, indigent and fearful. Fearful because who else wanted a second Voldemort?

Certainly not him.

'No way! We're not finding Voldemort!' shouted Harry startling most of the class.

'Voldemort. Who's that.'

Harry wanted to bang his head across the desk because really there was playing dumb and truly dumb and Professor Fran was horrible at playing dumb if he thought that it was a good idea and there's no way that he was truly dumb.

Not since everyone in the wizarding community had heard of Voldemort, because who didn't?

Now not only was Professor Fran a death eater and part of the Order of the Phoenix but he was horrible at playing dumb. Really, was this the best Voldemort could send into the school?

Snape was better than him which wasn't hard really since they basically had the same job...wait a moment!

Harry jumped from his desk, fully intent on going to Professor Snape's class and ask him about Professor Fran when he hit a brick wall.

No really, he hit a brick wall. It came out of nowhere and he ran into it.

'Dumb girly commander number two where are you going. Class is still in session.'

...Harry really did hate Professor Fran because he had an indescribable feeling the wall came from Professor Fran. That and he embarrassed him eight times already in this class.

Stupid death eaters.

...Now his nose really hurt, he'd probably need to be sent to the hospital wing. Damn.

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**I don't actually know what Dragon-fruit look like but I thought they'd look a little like Avacadoes...I still don't know if that's right.**

**And yes I had to start adding in perverted jokes sometime, why not at chapter 4?**

**Also had a lot of fun making Harry run into a brick wall...**


	5. Chapter 5: Dodge ball

**I don't own Harry Potter or Katekyo Hitman Reborn. I just find humour with them in each day. **

**Like H3PO4, Phosphoric acid, H for Harry, P for Potter, O is like the Levi in that group and has no meaning and together there are 7 atoms (not really, it's the little numbers on the side that equal to 7) like there are seven books. I also always look forward to 18:27 each day just to laugh as well as 03:27 (XanxusXTsuna, apparently).**

**Also like to thank:**

**Hikari367, BuffyXTheXBunnyXKill and Loumaria for favouriting!**

**To:**

**HakumeiTwinBlade: I know it's always fun messing with Harry. It only gets better (or worse if you look at it from Harry's prospective) from here on out.**

**Hikari367: Thank you~! I try hard on making it humourous as much as possible.**

**forever LuNa: I hadn't actually thought of having Xanxus or Tsuna but now that you mention it, I think I already know who they are. One is so obvious that you could slap yourself if you don't see it but the other...just try and guess ;P**

**Rairyu no Ikari: I hadn't actually thought of adding in any other KHR characters in but may be Chrome but now that you say that I think I might add in more since if you add one you must add in others.**

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**Chapter 5: Dodge ball**

Harry had practical DADA lessons, which was like more theory lessons, three times a week and the third lesson alternated between theory and practical every second week.

It was stupid really, he'd much rather have both lessons be called theory and let Professor Umbridge do it all. That was saying something considering he now had the words "must not tell lies" engraved onto his hand thanks to her.

However at least Professor Umbridge knew what she was doing, no matter how evil it was, unlike Professor Fran who was currently teaching them how to dodge sharp weapons.

Really, who uses sharp weapons instead of wands in the magical world?

Harry was trying to regain his breathe after Professor Fran told them to play dodge ball...

With modified bludgers with spikes attached to them and knives the size of his wand...

His true wand that he uses to cast spells, not the other one...

He learnt his lesson from that lesson.

'Loud girl commander shark number two stop huffing. It sounds as if you're the ass staring lightening pervert.' Harry groaned but tried to keep his breathing quiet and quickly stood up; the bludgers and knives were charmed somehow to attack them if they didn't throw the dangerous weapons at other people.

In all that time it took Harry to stand up and run for his life, he wondered which student was the ass staring lightning pervert.

So far nobody had figured out how to stop the weapons and Harry was beginning to suspect it was House elf magic. Visions of his second year in Hogwarts rang through his mind.

'End of lesson. Too bad. I wanted to use the iron balls next. They looked like they'd hurt. Oh but you weak slow loud perverted brats wouldn't have lived. I wonder if I'm turning into the fake prince. How horrible. It reminds me of the stupid idiotic group. I wonder if I'm reminiscing.'

Harry sometimes felt sorry for the Order of the Phoenix if this was the type of training they got against the death eaters, no wonder they only allowed adults in.

Harry decided from then on the Order of the Phoenix was scary and that Voldemort had a right to fear them and Professor Dumbledore since he allowed these trainings to go on.

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**That's right the Order of the Phoenix is badassed with their super dodge ball skills! Lol.**

**I still haven't found a lightning pervert yet. I'm very disappointed with myself. Although I am very tempted to say Draco as boss and have Pansy Parkinson as Levi just for the kicks.**

**Kufufufufu then my Darry fetishes will be complete, just joking~! There are to no true pairings, may hint at a few like (coughcough) but not actually saying it outright or even have onesided things because that's just depressing. **

**Depressing as a bad breakup.**

**Oh yes!**

**Everyone realises that some of the names Canon!Fran has for people can be used for other people in Harry Potter right?**

**I.e. Fake Prince= Severus Snape, as his mother's maiden name was Prince and what happens when a princess and a commoner have a child back in the old days, a part from her to be disowned,? The child was illegitimate to the crown hence Fake Prince.**

**or Gaylord= Albus Dumbledore since he was supposed to be an homosexual within the books.**

**Keep all of this in mind when you read and suddenly things become even better. **


	6. Chapter 6: Stal er following

**I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or Harry Potter, I just get twisted amusement out of it. Also why in the name of Fran is this fanfiction so popular?! I seriously don't get it other than the fact people like Fran as a teacher that tortures Harry and it's funny.**

**Thanks to:**

**Liaxing, Eruruu4, CuteFoxKitLee, codenumber6, zem107, RowanQuill, TheLazyOtakuWithTooMuchTime and wishstone500 for favouriting. (Also codenumber6 is that from that name from a manga called number 6?) P.S. everytime I think this is done for favouriting somehow I see a new one in my email inbox and I go wtf?! You weren't here a minute ago or were you...**

**Randomchick95 and codenumber6 for following.**

**To:**

**MrsRegulusBlack123: I have to say out of everything I've written so far, that part was my favourite/most loved scene as well. Who wouldn't love a character to run into a wall like that?**

**HakumeiTwinBlade: Yes you can say that. In fact I'd be overjoyed if you said that, don't worry I've said more embarrassing things to other authors than just friends (was I friendzoned?) in fact I told one that if their fanfiction was a person I'd marry it no matter which gender it was. Hehehe too bad Harry isn't being trained to be the next Vongola like Tsuna is, the name of the fanfiction would be Katekyo Hitman Fran. -brick'd-**

**CuteFoxKitLee: Oh yes they will. It's not a party/collapsing of a place/gathering/assassination without Varia. So guess which of the them will happen.**

**RowanQuill: There's no problem with that~ I do it myself, actually. I look at my memo script then I go check out what I want and whether or not it can actually happen. However thank you~! I can feel the love from you in the review (is that creepy?) and frankly I'm just overjoyed that people actually review this story.**

**forever LuNa: What did you expect from Varia quality?**

**Edit: about 15 min later publishing.**

**Did anyone pick up the first sentence in relation to one or more of the Harry Potter books?**

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**Chapter 6: stal-er following**

Harry doesn't usually spend his time following people, Hermione seems to disagree with him for some odd reason, but this was a special case.

Professor Fran was just too suspicious not to sta-er..trail, the man was a death eater for crying out loud and could be planning anything!

Ron just thought he was being paranoid.

He'll show him paranoid...

Wait! No he won't, since being paranoid was bad.

There were many reasons against Professor Fran. He could do wandless magic, who else could do that? (Harry only knew Professor Dumbledore to do that), and, and everything about him cried "SUSPICIOUS" in capital letters!

Actually from the whole half an hour Harry had been stal-...watching over Professor Fran there had been no one.

No one else in the corridors, even though it was after lessons, and there were no teachers and no students around. By Merlin he didn't even see Professor Snape sta- walking around.

It was creepy.

Drastic times called for drastic measures.

'P-Professor Fran!' called Harry stepping out of his temporary hiding spot.

'Ah. Loud long haired commander number two.'

Okay Professor Fran really does need his eyes checked thought Harry because he did not have long hair, that was last year.

'I was looking for you,'

'So you weren't stalking me like the Gaylord does whenever the loud boxing healing idiot is around because I'm sure you'd never do anything like that.'

'Y-Yeah,'

'What did you go looking then stalking me for. If you're trying to molest me it's not going to happen. I'll have to use my ultimate superhero pose to defeat you.'

There were so many things wrong with what Professor Fran said that Harry couldn't begin where to start but for the record he didn't want to molest Professor Fran, he wasn't like that.

'Loud girly second-in-command number two was so confused and sad that his continuously pissed off boss that throws things at him wasn't here so he's now taking it out on the handsome and smart Fran.'

'Who are you talking to?!' yelled Harry confused. What in Merlin's name was Professor Fran saying?

'The audience.'

'What audience?!'

'The audience, they need explanations because that's the way it works when a character goes into a monolog.'

'What in the name of Merlin are you talking about?!'

'Who's merlin?' Harry gaped at him before turning his heel and running off, no way was he sticking around the frustrating teacher.

His last thoughts as he ran away was does Professor Dumbledore abuse Professor McGonagall by throwing things at her?

Distantly he could hear 'Poor loud feminine commander number two, he really does need boss no matter what number he is,' and Harry sped up faster.

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**Alternate name for this chapter: In which Fran breaks the fourth wall.**

**Also can anyone actually see Dumbledore abusing McGonagall like Xanxus does to Squalo? Pffft. McGonagall would probably transfigure his ass and make him do something embarrassing if he tried.**

**P.S. I got the whole "**they need explanations because that's the way it works**" from Hitman Reborn wiki. Fran actually says something like that in the TYL arc, I thought it fit and now we are one step closer to finding Xanxus and Tsuna in Harry Potter.**

**P.P.S. I finally got hints of XS in there! Not much but still! Actually it might as well explain their friendship...poor Squalo friendzoned...**


	7. Chapter 7: Out of Character

**Harry Potter and Katekyo Hitman Reborn don't belong to me, although I wished I lived in either universe. Magic or hot guys people. Why wouldn't you want to live there?**

**Thanks to:**

**MagicMysticMojo for favouriting!**

**MagicMysticMojo, 00CoralStar00 and Derpina Doppelganger for following~!**

**To:**

**HakumeiTwinBlade: Yes you should had seen it coming what with Harry being all stalker like in the Half-blood Prince books to Draco. How could I not put that in?**

**Riko (guest): I'm sorry they're short chapter but my creativity and writing skills are mainly for short stories. Too bad huh?**

**forever LuNa: ...no comment as I feel that would give the story away but keep guessing away I might put things in there for people. I'm so looking forward to the christmas special chapter. Kufufufufufufu.**

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**Chapter 7: Out Of Character**

This time it didn't start in the classroom and a student didn't initiate the cause.

It started out at dinner time, just at the start as Ron wanted to get there early (something to do with new foods to try out), innocently as a death eater gets Professor Fran was sitting quietly probably planning some way to kill him off when Harry spotted Professor Snape stalking (he isn't afraid of using that word! So stop asking already! Yes that means you Hermione!) up to the teacher's table.

Harry had heard that a second year Hufflepuff had managed to not only to melt their cauldron but the desk, part of the floor, parts of other people's desks and seven other people's cauldrons beating Neville's record of three cauldrons and their desks.

So it was understandable that Snape looked pissed and so far there had been no showdown between Snape and Professor Fran because everyone knew that Snape wanted the job and there was no way he was going to confront Professor Umbridge about it.

The only other chair was next to Professor Fran.

Now all Harry wished for was popcorn.

There was a sudden silence as every student wanted to hear what Snape would say.

'Ah. Professor Snape. You look particularly angry. I take it you had a good day then.'

Snape took the time to sit in his chair, lips curled and teeth bared.

Better than TV thought Harry.

'You look as un-harassed as usual, I take it you had a good day of teaching nothing,' replied Snape and distantly Harry could hear a few "ooooh!" from some students.

'I wouldn't call it nothing. After all my life experiences were doing what I'm teaching.'

'So you did nothing for all your life?'

'You just haven't seen what I've been teaching.'

'Well the complaints that I've heard about you from my house were outstanding. I'm surprised that you're still teaching. Was it true you had a whole week's worth of lessons to teach them _superhero _poses?'

You could hear the disgust in his voice as he said superhero as if someone had dripped spoilt milk in front of him and asked to clean it up using his tongue.

'You wouldn't want them to turn to the dark side.'

'Couldn't you do that in some other way like light spells?'

'Nope. The manners are most important. Spells can wait.' Harry couldn't believe how almost polite Professor Fran was being and was that an emotion he could hear in Professor Fran's voice?

'Ribbit. Ushishishi.'

Everyone stared at Professor Fran.

Now that was out of character thought Harry.

The doors opened with a slight creaking and everyone turned towards it, it was that silent that you could actually hear the door.

'Ah. There you are. Stupid boxed fake prince. You should stop impersonating me. It's creepy. Ah. Unwashed creepy bat guy. Were you talking to the boxed fallen prince. I'm sorry but I'll need to cut it off. By the way you look particularly unwashed today. Did you find a new slime patch to roll in.'

Harry noticed that Snape had tensed before relaxing his shoulders a bit.

With that Professor Fran, the real one, walked up to the Professor Fran sitting the table. The fake Professor Fran had a wide grin on his face. In Ron's words it was "Scary as bloody hell!".

'Ushishishi. Froggy! I wondered when you'd show up, you know you ruin all my fun?' said the fake Professor Fran.

Professor Fran just blinked at the fake before taking- no yanking the frog (toad) hat off of the imposter...which shrunk immediately?

Was the source of Professor Fran's power in his hat?

Harry needed to know.

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**The alternate name for this chapter was: The source of his power comes from his...!**

**Correct answer: Leather pants. **

**Lol Fran wears leather pants and shoes but only Fran has a frog hat.**

**Also people don't forget to spell check just in case you any words out. Spell check is your friend.**

**P.S. in my mind Fran's box can so totally impersonate him if it wants to, after all it is based off of Bel with Fran's flames...(Bel and Fran's love child is Fran's box?) and would so go "Ribbit. Ushishishishi." with Bel's slasher smile.**


	8. Chapter 8: relations

**I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or Harry Potter.**

**Thanks to:**

**Soul of The World, uchiha-sakura193, ShinobiShinigami58 (why you no 59?), RandomInCommon and trimonter for favouriting.**

**Soul of The World, moonlight phonex101, uchiha-sakura193, RandomInCommon, Almendra del sol and Paigecat for following.**

**Soul of The World for favouriting me. This must be a first.**

**To:**

**forever LuNa: I hope you didn't die, you haven't seen chapter 11 yet...**

**HakumeiTwinBlade: It's too bad about the Harry Potter books, some of the subtle jokes and shout outs are of the last 3 books like Harry stalking is a reference to the Half Blood Prince and of the Order of the Phoenix's dodge ball training which totally didn't help Sirius. Speaking of which I forgot he was alive, I must do something with him now.**

**Soul of The World: Wait no more! I will have chapter 9 out by the end of the day since nothing makes sense without it. Kufufufufu.**

**uchiha-sakura193: Good luck finding that bleach. Nothing works. Nothing.**

**Anonymousguest(Guest): Yes they are going to be in here, I just need to work them in and make sure the story runs smoothly with them. I think the first one comes in, what, chapter nineteen? Chapter nineteen because I like loooong then short chapters, like this one.**

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**Chapter 8: Relations**

Once again Harry was trying to melt into his chair and desk.

He had tried to ask an innocent question, okay it wasn't innocent since he wanted to know more about Professor Fran and his weaknesses and he was rather blunt about it, about Professor Fran and his relationship with Bell Pie aka Molly Weasley.

His answer?

"Chrome nae san told me to watch out for girls that ask me that type of question. However I didn't think you'd ask it but then again you are the loud girly second-in-command number two so I shouldn't be surprised. Idiotic loud perverted girly commander number two I hope the Gaylord gets you for asking such stupid questions. For that the class will get a game of dodge ball now."

That was a minute ago and Harry was still pale at the thought of dodge ball.

You don't use umbrella spears in dodge ball or wine glasses.

'Also loud perverted feminine second-in-command number two you have detention.'

Detention.

Professor Fran so far in the year had never given anyone detention, not even the Weasley twins for their pranks.

Suddenly Harry's day got worse.

* * *

**It's short yes but to compensate for my...short comings I will have chapter 9 out by the end of the day, then the real fun comes in. Kufufufufu.**

**Hmmmm I just got thinking from HakumeiTwinBlade's review that I should put Sirius somewhere in here as well and also have love potions in here because everything is better (worse) with love potions!**

**Also Chrome nae san is deliberately spelled like that because Harry doesn't understand any other language apart from English and may be a little Latin.**

**P.S. I found Boss! Now for Tsuna-chan and may be Gokudera or Yamamoto...although finding Mukuro or Hibari will be fun as well. Oh! I need to find lightning pervert and gay lord too!**


	9. Chapter 9: Detention

**Harry Potter and Katekyo Hitman Reborn aren't mine. Although I would like their profit. Just imagine how much money the companies that print them and the authors get.**

**Here is Detention~! I have to say best detention ever, Reborn would be proud of it.**

**To:**

**HakumeiTwinBlade: If my last comment seemed a little up myself and made it seem that I insulted you in anyway then I am sorry.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Detention**

Harry stood by the practical DADA door, his detention started in three minutes and when he left the common room nearly everyone in the Gryffindor House had said good luck to him.

'Ah. You're early. Did you miss my fantastic personality and face that badly.'

Harry didn't know what to say, lie or not to lie? Say that Professor Fran was a weirdo or not get another detention?

Harry just let it go but as the minutes passed he realised that Professor Fran wanted an answer.

'Er, yeah. Sure,'

'I thought so. You really are the gay homo and ass staring boss loving pervert's love child. This only confirms it.'

May be the truth was better than the lie.

'Well are you going to go in or are you going to stare there watching my ass all day.'

'I'll go in!' yelped Harry as he raced in, face flushing in embarrassment for him and Professor Fran that said that crude stuff. Really the guy has to know what is socially appropriate for once.

'You really are loud. It's a wonder no one has complained of noise yet. Even people back at base have had complaints of noise. It was a hard few days of getting rid of policemen and hiding the evidence that we committed the crime since we're not used to noise complaints. The neighbours weren't happy. I wonder why.' Once again the monotone that he says everything in.

Harry wonder why also, but for a different reason like why wasn't in the news that muggle policemen were dead however he remembered the magic world didn't really care for muggles.

...Wait! Was Voldemort living near muggles now? But didn't the guy hate muggles?

'Alright your punishment is to stare at these images of pineapples and not look away. Blinking only makes it worse.'

It was a pattern of pineapples on a wall that Harry never noticed before and should had considering the pineapples were the colours of the primary colours and the background was neon green clashing horribly with the pineapples.

'Should I write lines or something?' Harry could hear mentally what he was saying between the lines and felt a slight smugness since Professor Fran didn't know about the fact that Professor Umbridge had gotten him to carve his skin with words.

...May be Hermione and Ron were right when they said that it was mentally messed up to get smugness from something painful...he would just not tell them, that's all.

'No. I already told you your punishment. Are you deaf as well as loud. Idiotic girly perverted commander number two.'

'For how long am I meant to stare at it for?'

'Six hours.'

'Six hours?! I need to be at the common room by 9!'

'Okay. Twenty-six hours.'

'That's even worse!'

'Such a whiner. You truly are the stupid long haired commander number two. I give you one time, you complain and then another and you still complain. Do you want sixty-nine hours?'

Harry shuddered. Sixty-nine hours with Professor Fran would be a living hell.

'Very well, six hours,'

'You said no to it. It's now twenty-six hours. I don't want sixty-nine hours because I don't like the number sixty-nine.'

'Twenty-six hours would be fine,'

'Fantastic. You'll be here for thirteen days. Detention only goes for two hours a day.'

What in Merlin's name did he do to deserve this?

'I'm just curious why didn't you give me the sixty-nine hours?'

'Because sixty-nine reminds me of the perverted Master. It's his favourite number for less than socially acceptable reasons.'

...Harry was going to pretend that he never heard that.

* * *

**I wonder what Fran thinks of when he says socially acceptable reasons. No seriously, I don't know which is awkward as I create this.**


	10. Chapter 10: Pineapplemares

**Disclaimer notice: Nothing is mine. Not Fran and certainly not Harry.**

**Thanks to:**

**Kappa Taicho, Trueswipe and Midnight Shadow Girl for favouriting.**

**Trueswipe and Midnight Shadow Girl for following.**

**To:**

**Hakumei Twin Blade: Thanks!**

**Yume Li: Yes it is but in Katekyo Hitman Reborn canon I'm wondering why they gave him the number 69 as his fandom number. Poor Chrome having Mukuro inside her most of the time...that sounded better in my head.**

**Also I know they're getting a little short, like drabble short so far but they will get longer.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Pineapplemares**

'Professor Fran?'

'Yes loud perverted long-haired commander number two.'

'I see pineapples,'

'I think you were meant to say that you see dead people.'

'No I saw ghosts before. I'm seeing a lot of different coloured pineapples...I think the blue one is doing a strip tease, sir,'

'Idiotic perverted feminine commander number two. You're delusional.'

'That doesn't make me feel better,'

'It wasn't meant to but if you want something to cheer you up then you can molest my body then we can go stab the pineapples together.' said Professor Fran with a blush on his face and Harry dare say it...almost looked cute.

'Garrrrrrrrrrr!' screamed Harry as he sat up in his bed sweating.

That had to be the weirdest dream he ever had.

'Mate, you okay?' asked Ron sliding back the curtains to Harry's bed.

Ron had the tomato hat on.

Ron was a tomato.

Ron was a tomato but he just didn't care right now.

'I'm fine Tomato,'

'Tomato?'

'What?'

'You called me Tomato,'

'No I didn't I said Ron,'

'No, you said Tomato,'

'No I didn't but if I did then I'm sorry. The dream I had was really weird and messing with me and I kept seeing pine-...apples...,'

'Harry? What's wrong?'

'Nothing, really,' Of course Harry wasn't going to tell Ron that he was still seeing pineapples even out of his dream.

And there was the blue still stripping while the other pineapples crowd around it stuffing leaves in the yellow flesh...

Harry really needed a psychologist right now.

* * *

**Yes, Ron never lost his hat. It's like a permanent fixture. He probably never will.**

**Also stuffing leaves into the yellow flesh of a pineapple is so totally how pineapples do strip teases.**

**P.S. Harry gets a new type of torture~!**


	11. Chapter 11: Superheroes

**If Harry potter and/or Katekyo Hitman Reborn were mine then nothing but shounen-ai would happen in it. No, seriously that is what it would probably happen as I fail at yaoi.**

**Thanks to:**

**Hibari Katomi for following.**

**It seems that the following and favouriting is slowing down now. Oh well~**

**To:**

**Soul of The World(review 1): Thank you~ You're too kind.**

**Soul of The World(review 2): I try my hardest because IRL I'm not that funny unless you count that nearly everything I say could be turned into a perverted joke.**

**Soul of The World(review 3): It wasn't actually Bel, just the boxed "animal" of Fran (Ha! I just got that joke. Man, Canon!Fran has a great sense of humour.) However don't worry in about chapter 18 you'll get the real KHR characters in and the chapters in between are short.**

**Midnight Shadow Girl: 1) Finally someone who isn't Soul of The World (just joking~ I like getting everyone's reviews they make me feel happy) 2) I am so glad I'm not the only one who says things like "Harry why aren't you doing anything?!" in the review box 3)Thank you~!**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Superheros**

Harry went off in search for Professor Fran (Hermione still called it stalking) to see what in Merlin's beard was going on with him because he just knew Professor Fran was behind it.

This time although the Marauder's map was working, somehow.

Harry had him cornered by the fourth staircase; he was heading towards the kitchens.

Harry hadn't done this much running since the Triwi-no don't think about that.

'Professor Fran! Professor Fran! I need to ask you a question!' Harry shouted into the seemingly empty corridor, but the Marauder's map had said that Professor Fran was here.

It was like something out of a horror film that Dudley, Harry's obese ugly cousin, used to watch when he was younger. It was creepy as hell but his Gryffindor side wouldn't let him back down.

'Professor Fran!'

Why did Harry feel like the main heroine that dies first in the movie?

'Boo.'

'Garrrrrrrrrrrr!'

Whipping out his wand he turned around with a curse on his lips. Swear or magical curse Harry didn't know.

'You were looking for me.' Harry's heart pounded like a herd of Hippogriffs chasing a person out of their territory.

'Don't do that!' screeched Harry, he could distantly hear himself in the back of his head wondering how high his voice could go and whether or not puberty will finally set.

'Why not screeching feminine stalking commander shark number two.'

'Because it's creepy!' Harry tried not to think of the fact he swore he saw a shadow on Professor Fran's face move...and wave at him...and do the "exorcist" dance Professor Fran was currently teaching them in class.

It didn't move. Not what so ever. Now why did that sound like Aunt Petunia?

It was just a shadow on Professor Fran's face.

'Why did you come stalking me again. Don't tell me you're going to try and confess. I'll still say no. Don't make me use my superhero pose because you won't be able to stop it.'

'Enough about the superhero stuff!'

'Don't dishonour superheros. Otherwise you'll get sixty-nine hours of detention and twenty-six reasons of why you shouldn't dishonour superheros to write out in your own time.'

'Fine! But tell me why in Merlin's name do I see pineapples?!'

'You see...pineapples...'

'Yes! And I know you're behind it!'

'I see. Perverted delusional dress-wearing commander number two. You are paranoid. Goodbye and please leave me alone. I don't want to catch your paranoia and delusions.' With that Professor Fran left.

...What now?

* * *

**To** **everyone I need help. No I'm not asking for donations just reviews to help me choose which partnership to go with:**

**Either Draco/Fran, Hermione/Fran, Hermione/Sprout, Dumbledore/Harry, Draco/Ron, Harry/Blaise, Draco/Snape or Harry/Fran**

**These will help with the partnership for the "choice game" that I have set up for chapter 25, yeah I prepare ahead of time. Like waaaaay ahead.**

**Also I need help with another one which is either Boss/Squalo or Bel/Fran to make the "Hey, let's stab this person" chapter up.**

**Thank you.**

**P.S. Those choice thing are not a way to get more reviews but I actually do need help with it, especially the partnership one as it's one vs another type thing and I like all those choices, well may be not Hermione/Sprout that was a crack one done on the spot but all the rest it's just so hard to choose.**

**P.P.S. Yes I went there for the robes. They are basically dresses in disguise, not very good ones, they're like Reborn disguises. Able to fool everyone else but the most rational people.**


	12. Chapter 12: Boss

**Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Harry Potter aren't mine, wish they were though. Yaoi, yaoi everywhere~! Oh the pairings~**

**Thanks to:**

**Illusion Island and dark-imagination2.0 for favouriting~!**

**To:**

**One of the Colourless: Like the Durarara reference~ No, you must pick either Bel/Fran or Boss/Squalo otherwise it gets repetative and same with**

**Harry/Fran, Dumbledore/Harry and Draco/Ron. I only want to tor-er write about one of the partnerships for the choice game.**

**Soul of The World: Y-you hate me? -goes and cries in a corner-**

**Hana(guest): Yay! Someone that actually does that it told! Joking. See I did update.**

**Now I finally present to all of you guys, Boss, as in we finally found Boss! Oh and Bel too but mainly Boss!**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Boss**

For some unfathomable reason Professor Dumbledore decided it was a great idea to change classes around not even a fourth into the year.

It was probably the Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Slytherins.

Gryffindors were too righteous to be the cause of the change. So now the classes were Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws for DADA and Gryffindors with Slytherin for DADA.

Bloody hell.

'Ah. The bunch of pompous brats with the superiority complexes is now in the same class as the perverted loud bats. How horrible for me to be dealing with the both of you in the same classes now. Someone cause some damage in another class so you can change again. Not in my class. I don't want to listen to the loud annoying complaints.'

This is how Professor Fran dealt with the change.

It was the first time the fifth year Gryffindor and Slytherins had DADA class together. Harry almost wished they'd met in Professor Umbridge's class first. It might have been more bearable.

Professor Fran continued to teach them the importance of not leaving a trace behind on a crime scene although. Was this Professor Fran's death eater training that he was teaching the class?

Harry hoped he'd never use any of the lesson Professor Fran taught them, especially the dodge ball ones but all of them was just as bad.

Why did Professor Dumbledore hired him again?

Everything had been going smoothly for all of about five minutes before Malfoy decided to open his trap.

'Sorry to interrupt Professor Fran-' he didn't sound sorry at all '-but is there any reason you're teaching us _muggle_ things for DADA?' You could hear Malfoy's distain for the word muggle, not surprising considering his whole "I'm a Pureblood and you're not so bow to me" thing that he had going on.

Did Malfoy not recognise death eater training when he saw it? His father must had been doing a pretty bad job.

'No.' Professor Fran was eloquent with words as always.

'What?! So you mean to tell me that you're teaching us muggle stuff just because of no reason?! My father will hear about this!'

'If I didn't already have a loud girly second-in-command number two I would had given the name to you and have the stalking feminine commander number two be the ass staring lightning pervert. I think you'd suit the part better. Especially when girl shark commander threatens to tell on us to the boss.'

'What are you talking about you muggle lover? I bet the only reason you don't tell us your last name is because you're a mud-muggleborn or was it because you were out casted from your family because you liked muggles?'

'Mud-muggleborn. I don't know what those are. I wasn't out casted from my family. I was kidnapped by the paedophilic pervert pineapple Master.'

Everyone was silent because really what could you say to that?

Also Voldemort was a paedophile? Crap. This could be bad for Harry.

'How old were you when you were kidnapped?' Harry asked this one because really depending on what Professor Fran said Harry would need to prepare for the sake of his chastity.

'Eh. About 10 or so. I don't remember but I did spend until I was 18 with the perverted nap pou Master. Then I was given away to the stupid idiotic group. I think I got too old for him. Would explain a lot. Poor Grandma. She was nice but her cooking sucked.'

Damnit! Now Harry seriously needed to study otherwise the consequences would be too great and it would be a fate worse than death.

Also what was a nap pou? Another foreign word, did it mean something like napping? Voldemort takes naps?

Harry couldn't imagine that.

'Ciò che una famiglia non peggiori anche di prendersi cura dei loro piccoli. Essi dovrebbero aveva fatto qualcosa quando il nostro cestino insegnante è stato rapito.'

What in the name of Merlin was that? Another foreign language? Hermione jabbed her elbow into his ribs to point at a Slytherin boy. Harry couldn't remember ever actually seeing him but he was dark skinned.

'Ah. Non era il suo problema. Ormai era vecchio. Master è stato molto bravo a sequestro. I think I found boss number two. What's your name constantly having a man period boss number two.'

'I don't have a man period and I never did. However my name is Blaise Zabini, a teacher should really remember the names of their students,'

'Okay angry boss number two. Loud feminine commander number two aren't you happy we found pissed off boss number two.'

Harry didn't know what to say.

The guy was in Slytherin! There was no way he could be like Professor Dumbledore!

'Well.'

Damn Professor Fran and his pressuring ways!

'Noisy girly second-in-command number two was so overjoyed at seeing the man period boss number two again that he was speechless. He didn't think there was a chance of seeing him again in this school and would soon propose to have a loud and noisy-'

'I get it so stop with the embarrassing monologs again! I don't care if you need to explain it to the audience again! Just stop!' yelled Harry. Seriously he didn't want to hear the end of that sentence and suspected that he never will.

'What in the name of Merlin are you talking about Potter?' drawled Malfoy, bloody git.

'Mr blonde that talks too much and has a daddy complex do you like knives.'

'What?! Why would I like knives? I'm a pureblood not a mud-muggleborn!'

'Pureblood. Pure of blood like royalty. Right.'

'Oh course!' and like the git Malfoy is he puffed out his chest. That would only work if he was a girl, needless to say Harry was amused.

'I found fake prince sen pie number two.'

'What?'

Ah sweet revenge but Harry couldn't imagine Malfoy as Molly, even in an apron although the thought of it was hilarious.

'Also bladed jaded girly shark commander number two now that you have wine glass throwing boss number two please stop looking at fake prince number two with perverted eyes. Someone might get jealous of those heated stares.'

Harry vaguely remembers a muggle saying that a business man once used around Dudley, Aunt Petunia and himself, now only if he could remember it.

* * *

**Omake 1: alternate ending**

The guy was in Slytherin! There was no way he could be like Professor Dumbledore!

'Well.'

Damn Professor Fran and his pressuring ways!

'Noisy girly second-in-command number two was so overjoyed at seeing the man period boss number two again that he was speechless. He didn't think there was a chance of seeing him again in this school and would soon propose to have a loud and noisy-'

'I get it so stop with the embarrassing monologs again! I don't care if you need to explain it to the audience again! Just stop!' yelled Harry. Seriously he didn't want to hear the end of that sentence and suspected that he never will.

'All I was going to say at the end of the sentence was fighting.'

'What,' It slipped out of Harry's mouth but it wasn't a question. It was a statement.

'Boss and girly second-in-command always fight.'

Well now Harry just felt stupid...well stupider than before.

* * *

**Omake 2: In where Hermione was the scariest of them all**

Harry didn't know what to say.

The guy was in Slytherin! There was no way he could be like Professor Dumbledore!

'Well.'

Damn Professor Fran and his pressuring ways!

'Noisy girly second-in-command number two was so overjoyed at seeing the man period boss number two again that he was speechless. He didn't think there was a chance of seeing him again in this school and would soon propose to have a loud and noisy sex in the broom closets. It was very noisy and all the girls in fifth year and above crowded around it to listen.'

Harry just gaped at the man. There was no way in hell that he was ever going to do that!

'Harry, you would do that right? I mean for a friend, you'd have sex with another boy in broom closets?' What in the bloody hell, Hermione!

'NO!'

'Ah. Looks like we found our resident fan girl. You shall be Gaylord number three as two has already been taken.'

* * *

**Hakumei Twin Blade, I took your advice on pedo Voldemort and pedo Mukuro! At least I think it was you, awkward if it isn't...**

**P.S. Does anyone know the business man's words? Tell me in the next coming chapters because it's probably one everyone has just about heard and it relates quite closely to Harry's current life.**

P.P.S. The words Blaise says are "What a trashy family, not even taking care of their young. They should had done something when our trash teacher was kidnapped." or something along those lines. I got it from a Google typed Translator.

The words Fran says are "It wasn't her fault. Grandmother was old. Master was/is very good at kidnapping." (The only reason I put was/is in there is because I'm pretty sure Mukuro is still pretty good at kidnapping people, probably even better than before.)

**P.P.P.S. I have a poll for the big long named choice game chapter.**


	13. Chapter 13: Casual

**Katekyo Hitman Reborn doesn't belong to be otherwise 27 will be having a lot of _happy_ moments with the other male characters and neither does Harry Potter otherwise Harry would probably be with a Slytherin male, past or present is up to my mood on that day.**

**I'll like to thank:**

**ReiKuro, Yamazaki, Kohanita, Dareagon, Miss Turing, LoveYouRebornSama, Darknceannoya and Zantetsuken Reverse for following.**

**ReiKuro, Yamazaki, Kohanita, pkeane47, Athena's lil' Girl and Zantetsuken Reverse for favouriting.**

**To:**

**HakumeiTwinBlade: That's okay! You gave me the idea so I simply had to place it somewhere within there. Also I think I need to update more simply because I couldn't remember how you spell your pen name off by heart and if you had any spaces between the words. In other words, it has been simply too long since I've updated, so sorry.**

**One of the Colorless: Xanxus/Squalo, huh? Well if you're the only one that has voted I guess I'll have to go both ways with both the votes for Xanxus/Squalo. Kufufufufu.**

**Soul of The World: I'm sorry. I won't hate you after all it was my fault...T_T B-but you simply made it too easy since I have a teasing nature. (I sound like a pokemon...XxAlysxX used fanfiction update. It was super effective against the followers.)**

**Zantetsuken Reverse (1): Yep, McGonagall, who else would be second in command?**

**Zantetsuken Reverse (2): Yep ^_^ What with Fran always going on about he will be a top magician I'd say he probably went to Hogwarts for all of 5 seconds before realising that being a magician was better than being a wizard or witch.**

* * *

**Chapter 13: casual**

It was finally a Hogsmeade weekend.

This meant several things:

1) No more Professor Fran for about five hours.

2) No more Professor Umbridge for about five hours.

3) No more Professor Snape for about five hours.

4) Well, there wasn't a four since he could still see pineapples but they were getting better! At least they didn't strip anymore and laugh creepily, like Voldemort creepily.

Or was meant to be that way.

Of course life likes to play around with Harry which is probably why he was hiding from Professor Fran in Madame Padfoot's behind a table.

It wasn't the most subtle place to hide out, the employees and other customers told him that much but Harry couldn't back out, not now since Malfoy and his stupid posse along with that black Italian boy dubbed "Boss number two" were also lurking outside.

Harry briefly wondered if he could get out of Madame Padfoot's and back to Ron and Hermione before any of them could notice.

That thought was shot down immediately; if he dodged one them the others will still get him and then draw the other two to him as well.

Harry was starting to remember what the business man said that made Aunt Petunia gasp and over Dudley's ears but the exact words escaped him as someone made the bell on the door chime.

Stupid bell.

Heavy footsteps came through; a male's footsteps.

Please don't be Professor Fran. Please don't be Professor Fran. Please don't be Professor Fran.

'Potter or rather second-in-command number two what in Merlin's name are you doing down there?'

Harry will forever believe in Merlin. Only Merlin could have done such a miracle even though dead for a good 500 years or so.

'What do you want?'

'My name is Blaise Zabini, please use it and it is rather rude to reflect a question with another question. Didn't your guardians teach you that?'

'I ask again, what do you want?'

'I happened to see a crowd forming in Madame Padfoot's around one table so I went in. Problem is there? Did your date stand you up although I haven't heard about you dating in the gossip vine so I will presume it is something else and that something else is the reason you're currently behind a table?'

Harry cursed the people in Madame Padfoot's in his mind. Why can't they mind their own business?

'No, just get away from you Slytherin git or I'll hex you so badly that Madame Pomfrey wouldn't be able to cure it,'

The bloody git just cracked a smile and had the audacity to sit down at the table he was hiding behind.

'What are you doing?' hissed Harry.

'Get up commander number two and sit down like a normal person. I grant you it may be hard but if everyone else can do it without first hiding behind the table then so can you,'

Harry looked around and everyone was staring. Damn majority.

He sat down at the table with bloody git opposite him.

'I will repeat what are you doing? Because really what you just did was an order not a bloody answer,'

'Such language, however you are right. I did give you an order but I was also making everything seem normal unlike what you were doing,'

'I don't need your help! And I certainly won't follow your order a second time!'

'Oh yes because you were doing such a fine job before. You know I think you're currently swimming in a river in Egypt,'

'I'm not swimming in any river certainly not in Egypt especially not right now. Where do you think we are?'

The damn git was now laughing at him! Oh Harry was going to curse the living daylights out of him once he finds a way out of this place.

Just then the waitress came by to their table.

'What would you two like to drink?' she asked. She was okay looking witch, nothing fancy. Nothing like Cho Chang. She also kept blushing and seemed to force herself to stop giggling. Creepy witch.

'We'll have the lavender with jasmine and orange extract with-'

'I never said you could order for me!' hissed Harry with clenched teeth. The git was actually ordering for the both of them? Honestly the guy was mental.

'Well I could hardly finish a pot by myself and it would seem more natural this way. There is also the fact that the tea is actually rather nice if you're inclined to try it,'

It was true the git didn't seem like the type to finish a whole pot of tea to himself and the tea did sound tempting.

'Fine,'

'Very good,' The git was now mocking him. Just great, he does one good thing and it bites him on the ass.

'As I was saying we'll also like the Tuscan Biscotti,'

'Don't worry Potter, I'll be paying,'

'Money isn't an issue. Why are you doing this?'

'Who knows?' Harry sighed.

Damn Slytherins and their confusing ways, the guy was as annoying as Professor Fran.

'Fine but why sit here?' The words at my table were spoken silently 'Don't you have an evil dictator to suck up to or something?'

'I don't in fact have an evil dictator to suck up to and as to why I'm here I already told you. You however had yet to answer any question of mine,'

'Which one?'

'Why you were hiding behind this table,'

'I was trapped here,'

'Evidently but from who were you hiding from?'

The waitress came back with the pot of tea and weird biscuits. Were they edible?

The git poured the cups and offered Harry some of the biscuits. Harry took the cup for politeness but rejected the biscuits; did he think that Harry was a fool to take the poisoned cookies?

'I'm waiting for an answer,'

'Malfoy, you and Professor Fran since he made those embarrassing comments a few lessons ago and Malfoy has been hording it over my head ever since then,'

'Why stay away from me then?'

'Because of what Professor Fran said. I'd be happier not know who you were, in fact I didn't even know you were in my year let alone the school,'

'That's quite harsh. Although I'd wish the same about you but you're the boy-who-lived so I would have known you anyway,'

'Oh! Sorry I didn't mean it that way-' Way to go Harry you should just shut your trap right now Harry thought '-but I wish Professor Fran would just stop,'

'I would feel the same apart from he calls me a boss, even though I'm not going into politics I still appreciate the sentiment,'

'I don't get you,' Harry sighed. What did politics have to do with being a boss?

The git now was smirking over his tea cup. What did he need to smirk for?

'Ah. Angry glass throwing boss number two and girly second-in-command number two are you on a date here. I would never pick the boss number two for this type. Must had been long haired commander number two.'

Professor Fran in all his glory looked like a Christmas tree on crack smothered in the peels of the pineapples Harry could see. In fact he looked like the detention wall. Needless to say Harry was horrified and speechless.

'How did you know?' asked the git boss number two.

'Boss no matter which number would never go into a girly place like this. Only the commanders could do this.'

The boss number two made an understanding noise and what the hell was that meant to mean?!

'Where did you get that necklace?'

Sure enough Professor Fran was wearing a pendant of what appeared to be silver or was that stainless steel?

'Eh. You want one for second-in-command number two. Bell sen pie got it for me saying that it was perfect for a frog like me and that I should be honoured for it as it was Bell sen pie got it for me.'

Molly brought Professor Fran a necklace shaped like a cartoon frog's head? Why would she do that?

Molly liked to home make things and a necklace like that seemed kind of...personal.

It wasn't possible...but it wasn't like Molly was having an affair with Professor Fran, right? He was about as old as her eldest son, she was married and Professor Fran was a total git.

Molly was too nice and sweet and loyal and kind to do such a thing, and, and, AND! Oh Merlin! Molly was having an affair with Professor Fran!

What will he tell Ron! Let alone Arthur, Ron's father!

Those three words of the business man drew ever closer.

* * *

**Lol. Ah Harry always gets crazy ideas, he's the only straight man in this fanfic...hmmm should I make that literally or mentally?**

**Also please vote on my home page for the chapters with the partnership on it, please. I would like to know the audience's take on it, or should it be a surprise and whatever crack I think of I should go with?**

**P.S. Anyone know those three words? Special treat for the one that does at the end of the next chapter.**


	14. Chapter 14: Three

**I don't own any of the following: Katekyo Hitman Reborn, although I'd really love to make a pokemon game out of it, or Harry Potter, lol imagine what type of pokemon game that'd make.**

**Thanks to:**

**Arlaeflores, MoonArc and Res CVX for following.**

**Arlaeflores and 97chaoscat for favouriting.**

**To:**

**Nook (guest): Yes Varia will appear sometime in the future, I have it written down of where they'll show up.**

**Haku: Yes! I know I think the whole plot for this story originally was just to have Fran torture Harry and have the crack pairing of Molly and Fran, so you can thank them for this story and the plot bunny that spawned them.**

**Arlaeflores: Oh don't worry Mukuro and Bel will be introduced if it's the last thing I do.**

**Zantetsuken Reverse: Hahaha! I think I might now have to add George and MacLaggen together now just for you and as a hint: You've probably heard this saying before.**

**bleachlover1999: Yes! Finally someone has told me something of what to do.**

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**Chapter 14: three**

For all that is magical why won't Professor Dumbledore stop already?!

It started once again in the Great Hall however it was Professor Dumbledore's great idea that Professor Fran should be sorted into a House as Professor Fran had never attended Hogwarts before.

He did all this by announcing it in the Great Hall about a week ago. If Harry could curse someone other than Professor Snape, Professor Fran and Malfoy (the wine throwing boss was close to be up there from his stunt which ruined Harry's Hogsmeade trip) then he'd curse Professor Dumbledore.

Well it was the official story about Professor Fran but Professor Snape said otherwise.

Apparently Professor Fran had attended Hogwarts when he was thirteen because he went missing for the first two years of when he was supposed to attend Hogwarts. He didn't make it pass the sorting ceremony because a fight broke out between students and somehow he left during that.

It sounded like a Professor Fran thing to do.

Ron bet his entire chocolate frog collection that Professor Fran even said "Eh. This place is too weird. It must be possessed by demons. I don't want to be possessed. I'm leaving."

Best Professor Fran impersonation Harry had ever seen and there were quite a few, however no one took Ron up on the bet; it might hurt his feelings when he lost.

Of course Professor Snape's version of the truth seemed likely as Professor Fran was getting more sarcastic

"No one wants to hear your comments, loud annoying girly commander number two, during this time of day or even at night so please keep your voice to yourself and any weaponry as well to yourself because I don't want to be the one that has to clean it all up when you're done." (Never before had Professor Fran told him to shut up like that.)

the closer it grew to his sorting and coincidentally Professor Snape, Professor Umbridge and Professor Sprout seemed happier as well.

What did Professor Fran do to piss off Professor Sprout? The idiot...

The sorting was in three days, something about magical numbers and Harry couldn't help the feeling that Professor Fran wanted to tell Professor Dumbledore exactly where he could shove those magical numbers or was that just Harry thinking things?

The pineapples seemed more agitated at any rate, more than usual at least and Harry was sure that they were connected to Professor Fran.

Speaking of which Harry found a butcher knife to chop the pineapples up with; it looked like that nightmare he had before really did have a use, just not the part about molesting Professor Fran's body. Harry will pretend that part never happened.

* * *

**Don't worry people this is TBC for tomorrow when I upload the next chapter.**

**Also polls are up on my homepage so please tell me with the partnership choices because there is only so much crack I can place into my brain before it is filled up.**


	15. Chapter 15: Two

**Bel Box is mine, not the characters involved but only the scenarios.**

**Thanks to:**

**Twix03, true black is white, darkreverie13, Warmaster Tzeentech, SolR, sakura angel dark, Reborn-Story-Reader and Ice'Warrior'09 for favouriting.**

**HibirdLover, pizzas are immortal, Twix03, Xanlise, Warmaster Tzeentch, SolR, Wyndhaven, sakura angel dark, Reborn-Story-Reader and Khorale for following.**

**Big thank you to Ice'Warrior'09 for favouriting me!**

**Reviews: **

**HakumeiTwinBlade: Fran being molested? How did you know the plot to the next chapter? Joking, that isn't the plot to the next chapter. Also where did I put Fran being molested? -thinks hard- =A=**

**Zantetsuken Reverse: I don't get your review of "...Wait, what?" that could mean anything to me! Like ...wait, what did I just do? or ...wait, what just happen? or even ...wait, what in the name of pineapples?**

**Guest: You have inspired me to put Tsuna in here. He MUST be in here no matter what. I will put in him with my Dying Will!...Is it me or did that sound dirty?**

**Soul Of The World: I know it's short and this one even shorter but at least I'm grateful someone picks up that I try and put as much information in as possible.**

**SolR: Your review made my day. Honestly it's hard to feel sorry for Harry as he does get to spend time with the Awesomeness, capital letter and all, that is Fran. **

**flamingcookies21: Yesssshhhhhhh! Finally someone who puts in a vote! Finally I thought I'd have to use a dart board or something to decide the partnership game.**

**Yes I am sorry this is way over late. I was going to place put it up a while ago then I went "eh, now I just need to place the reviews in" and this was about a month or so go. If you want a real date I think I had this ready about a few days after my last chapter before I procrastinated on it.**

** Also good news people of the world; I did exams, I had exams and I only failed 1 exam! (I came, I saw, I conquered). **

* * *

**Chapter 15: two**

Two days to go and Harry got three separate sixteen hour detentions with Professor Fran and somehow Malfoy was also going to join them in detention and he also lost around thirty points for "stabbing the air and causing a danger to students" and he also lost his butcher knife but all he was doing was killing off the pineapples.

It wasn't Harry's fault the pineapples were there. On another note Professor Fran seemed to be his usual sarcastic self when Harry went to him for detention.

He must had been up to something but Harry didn't find out as he was once again forced to stare at the detention wall while Malfoy had to polish statues of pineapples by hand.

What was with Professor Fran and pineapples?

* * *

**Sorry this is so short, it was originally apart of Three but I separated them. This will be the shortest ever chapter in Bel Box so don't worry. I will have the next update tomorrow to compensate for this short chapter unlike what I said two days ago about yesterday.**


	16. Chapter 16: One

**Disclaimery time! I don't own any of the franchises that are Katekyo Hitman Reborn or Harry Potter, if I did they would be the most successful yaoi things out there...probably. **

**Remember when I said the last chapter will be the shortest ever chapter, well I lied because without reviews and reviews and favourites and followers this gets pretty empty. So enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 16: one**

It was now one day to Professor Fran's sorting and all the teachers seemed agitated apart from Professor Fran. Guess that the staff meeting on Wednesday (yesterday) helped?

Apart from the teachers being snappier than usual some of the students particularly the Slytherins became snappier as well. Harry asked Hermione to help him find the cause.

May be they all took the dark mark and Voldemort had successfully infiltrated Hogwarts while Professor Fran distracted the teachers. If there was any proof that all Slytherins were bad, especially the sneaky boss guy, then this was Harry's chance to expose them once and for all!

Harry did resist the urge to laugh evilly but only because laughing evilly was what bad guys did and Harry wasn't a bad guy.

Hell, he was the chosen one (according to the Daily Prophet).

On a happier note he found another butcher knife for those pesky pineapples, he just needed to do it when everyone had gone to bed and while using the invisibility cloak.

Harry will like to see them run then...damn urges for evil laughter.

* * *

**Yes sheeple, you get two chapters today because they are so short and not everyone is satisfied with short things...lol.**


	17. Chapter 17: To be sorted or not to be

**Disclaimer: The plot and randomness is only mine, nothing more.**

**Thanks to:**

**Raine Amorial for favouriting.**

**Reviews:**

**SolR: Harry, until by some miracle that the pineapples go away, will forever be chopping (killing) the pineapples and the pineapple in bright neon colours will be doing strip teases to annoy and mentally scar him. Also I've updated~! **

* * *

**Chapter 17: To be sorted or not to be sorted that is the question**

Harry noticed on the day of the sorting that all the heads of House were...snappier than the day before, which was saying a lot as they were pretty snappy yesterday. What happened last night?

Did they not get a hangover potion or something? Was Professor Snape withholding all the potions until Professor Fran wasn't going to be sorted? Hermione shot that theory down saying "If that was the case then why is Professor Snape acting like that as well?", she truly was smart.

The rest of the student body had caught onto the fact that the teachers had been acting weird for the last three days, even the Hufflepuffs caught on.

Hermione also had asked if she could speak to him later.

This better not be about the knife she caught him with last night, not the butcher one although he spent an hour grovelling and asking forgiveness for using another knife, but he didn't regret it as he got three pineapples that night. They were getting better at dodging.

Harry was beginning to suspect they could see under his invisibility cloak.

Harry got to the Great Hall early to see the tor-er sorting of Professor Fran and was surprised to see about half of the student body already there. They sure are eager.

Hermione was already sitting at the Gryffindor table but Ron wasn't there, she had yet another heavy looking boos near her.

He sat down next to her and looked for other familiar faces.

'Hey Hermione, what did you want to talk about? The later thing,'

'Not here, there are too many people around,'

'But-'

'No,'

'Harry, sounds like she's got you whipped,' It was Dean Thomas, a dark skinned boy from Gryffindor in Harry's year.

Hermione blushed for some odd reason. What in the name of Merlin meant "she's got you whipped"?

'Naa, from what I hear, Harry here, has himself a Slytherin boyfriend,' Seamus Finnigan this time. Harry blushed in remembrance of the embarrassing time and also knew why that waitress was blushing from that time. She was embarrassed to be serving them but she seemed so nice.

Damn man-period boss.

'Hey! It's not like that!' argued Hermione. Thank Merlin for Hermione, the voice of reason.

'Don't get your knickers in a twist; we're only joking around,'

'You better be,'

'They better be what?' Ron was finally here.

'Nothing Ron,' said Hermione and himself at the same time in the same tone of voice. Now that was creepy. Ron's expression also told him that.

'Hey move over! It's going to start soon!' That really got Harry's attention.

Professor McGonagall in all her fierce glory walked up to the teacher's table from the Great Hall doors. There was a hushed, excited silence.

She was carrying a mouldy old hat that Harry remembered placing on his head. Such good memories of when he was just starting his wizardry training and didn't know how to hex someone yet.

'Could I have you attention please, today we are here to witness one of our foreign professors being welcomed and sorted into a House of Hogwarts even if delayed. Many of us will never see such an event like his in our lifetimes, others such as our dear Professor Binns will witness this in many lifetimes. Without further more words I welcome Professor Fran to the front,'

Everyone clapped for politeness' sake, it was stiff and all the students apart from the Ravenclaws and Hermione looked bored. Oh! The Slytherins had a constipated look on their faces too but Harry didn't count them as students, just death eaters in training.

On another note Professor Binns wasn't at the sorting and Hermione was muttering under her breath about something. Harry was also disappointed that Professor Dumbledore didn't mention Professor Fran's last name.

Professor Fran walked from the teacher's table to the stool placed in front of the teacher's table where Professor Dumbledore sat.

'Wait a moment, how are we sure that this is the real Professor Fran and not the imposter?' asked Snape and he did make a good point.

'I'm sure I know who I am. Creepy batman imposter. Stupid boxed fake prince is safely tucked away in hell. My creepy laughing Master taught me how to get there.'

'I'm sure he did,' drawled Snape in a tone that clearly stated that Snape didn't believe Professor Fran.

'I'm sure that idiotic perverted Master is thankful for all those wasted years of pineapple torture.'

Pineapple torture? Harry knew it! Professor Fran really was the one behind the pineapples!

Professor Fran turned away from Snape, it seemed Professor Fran got bored of talking (insulting) Snape and went to the stool.

Professor Fran looked awkward sitting on the short stool that was made for eleven year olds but Professor McGonagall still placed the Sorting Hat over Professor Fran's hat.

'Professor Fran could you please take off your hat?' asked Professor McGonagall in a no nonsense voice.

'Eh. But Bell sen Pie will get angry with me and throw knifes at my head.'

Would Molly really do that to the one she was having an affair with?

'I'm sure that Bell sen Pie is not here at the moment and won't mind if you take it off for a few minutes,'

There was another pause before Professor Fran nodded and the frog (toad) hat faded away as if it was never there. Professor McGonagall seemed very surprised as did everyone else when that happened. Guess she thought he was useless as well?

Harry held his breath as he waited for the Sorting Hat to decide where Professor Fran would go.

* * *

**Yep I leave it like this.**

**You guys just have to wait and see what House Fran gets into.**

**Also I just found out you can only have one poll at a time on the profile page. So thank you to all that voted for the Squalo/Boss or Bel/Fran poll but I now have another poll up for a chapter much closer than that one.**

**Yes, it's the choice game chapter. So please vote.**


	18. Chapter 18: Cliffhanger

**Disclaimer: I probably steal everything I know from Tv Tropes including Harry Potter and Katekyo Hitman Reborn, although they belong to other people as well.**

**Thanks to:**

**Xapilitos, Daffodil Moon, Ochibi-chann, Quietanonymous, zero-amu and DMCP for favouriting~**

**Xapilitos, Ghostdragon101, Tegumiar, Quietanonymous, zero-amu, Fi Suki Saki and DMCP for following~**

**To:**

**HakumeiTwinBlade: That is exactly what I should had done. I should had gotten Bel in there and stab everyone especially Fran before kidnapping Fran in front of everyone and just ended the story there instead of what I'm currently doing. OTL**

**Zantetsuken Reverse: Of course yay for illusions! Why else would there be a Harry Potter crossover with Fran as the main character otherwise?**

**Fi Suki Saki: Hmmm I'll think about it although Fran could be a Hufflepuff too you know, after all he does display loyalty towards Mukuro no matter how much a perverted pineapple Master he is. Also what nickname are we talking about? There are quite a few that I use within this story.**

* * *

**Chapter 18: Cliff hanger**

It had been a week since the sorting of Professor Fran where it took ten minutes to sort him because he casted some type of wandless nonverbal bewitching spell on the Sorting Hat that confused it and also made it look like Professor Fran's usual toad (frog) hat. (It also took Harry about three minutes before he realised that it was not a good idea to hold his breath while waiting for the sorting of Professor Fran.)

Hermione said it was not possible that Professor Fran could bewitch the Sorting Hat but it happened. (Take that Hermione!)

The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were relieved, lucky bastards, that Professor Fran didn't even have a chance of being in their Houses but it didn't matter currently as it seems since the week of utter hell by the heads of House (apparently the House that Professor Fran was in had to do bonding activities with him and all the heads of House had to treat him as an actual professor of Hogwarts which was the deal Professor Fran made with Professor Dumbledore) which finally broke today.

Coincidentally Professor Fran wanted all of fifth year students to go for a walk with him and anyone who doesn't make the full trip and back had to go again in their free time and do it five times. Seamus lucked out as he got Dragon Pox and was currently detained in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts.

So far this walk had taken them five hours and they still weren't there yet according to Professor Fran. Bloody git.

According to Hermione they had lost over half of the students on the walk. To make matters worse they were travelling through the Forbidden Forest.

What kind of teacher does this? Wasn't the Forbidden Forest, well forbidden? To top everything off he had to listen to Malfoy and Ron arguing, Hermione scolding, Malfoy in general and a pissed off Boss.

Harry was not happy.

Oh! Yeah, the thing Hermione wanted to talk about was created a DADA club as neither DADA teacher was actually teaching them. Harry would be fine with that apart from she wanted Harry to teach it. Was Hermione crazy?

Did she not know he was seeing pineapples?

Well actually she didn't but still!

Harry could admit to himself and only himself that he was possibly insane and it was all Professor Fran's fault.

'Ah. Another half an hour in this direction.' Said the bane of Harry's life pointing in a vaguely familiar direction and no, it was not Voldemort. Voldemort had nothing on Professor Fran.

Harry couldn't remember why the direction was so familiar. It's not like Harry went out of his way every night to explore the Forbidden Forest, really he didn't, no matter the Hogwarts rumour vine.

'Professor Fran, where are we going?' asked a naive Hufflepuff, it must be nice to see the world like that...

'Professor Fran! Professor Fran can you hear me?'

It struck Harry like lightning that Professor Fran was ignoring them.

'Hey Ron, it's not a good sign if Professor Fran is ignoring us, right?' asked Harry.

'How do you know that, mate?'

'Well, he's not answering her, is he?'

'Now that you mention it...'

'He's not ignoring her,' Hermione put her two cents in as well. Bloody great.

'What?' asked Ron.

'He's not ignoring her, he's waiting for her question and she doesn't realise it. Remember he did this to me as well in the beginning before I just put my hand up and ask,'

'Professor Fran! Are we nearly there yet?' shouted the Hufflepuff.

'No. We are not nearly there yet. Annoying badger child who I am ignoring.' Said Professor Fran.

'Don't start Harry,' said Hermione in her warning voice, why in the name of Merlin she's in her warning voice Harry didn't know.

'What? I didn't say anything!'

'You didn't need to, mate, it said everything for you,' joked Ron while Hermione glared at him. It seems like Ron did something to Hermione again.

'What do you mean?' asked Harry genuinely confused.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the trio as Harry caught Ron and Hermione sharing a look. Really they should just admit they like each other already instead of making him the third wheel.

'So, how did you know that he was ignoring her?' asked Hermione.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, it was like something was stinging it. So damn itchy.

'I-I don't know, I just...well I just looked at him...and he didn't even acknowledge her with a stupid nickname,'

'Wow, are you sure you're not in love with the guy?' asked Ron.

'Yes Ron, I am sure I'm not in love with Professor Fran,' hissed Harry.

'Guys, be quiet, someone will overhear,' said Hermione glaring at the both of them. Sometimes she had really great ideas and other times she just had stupid ones, this was one of the great ideas.

'Well I am glad that stupid second-in-command is not in love with me. Boss will be glad as well that second-in-command is not in love with me.' If Harry was one of those kiddy cartoons he would currently be in the air.

'Don't do that!' yelled Harry, a quick glance at Ron and Hermione told him they had their hearts in their throats as well.

'We're nearly there. Just keep walking straight. If you can manage that.' Said Professor Fran to the group that managed to keep up with him on this five and three quarters trip.

'Hey Hermione, is there a train station platform called five and three quarters?' asked Harry.

'Don't be stupid Harry, of course there isn't there is only muggle trains and the Hogwarts Train,' Stupid Hermione being the bearer of bad news.

Upon the sixth hour they finally stopped at a cliff.

Why in the name of Merlin's saggy left pants did Professor Fran made them walk all the way from Hogwarts to a stupid cliff face and leave the bodies of the students that didn't make it behind?!

'Professor Fran, why are we here?' grounded out Harry from his clinched teeth. The anger inside of him increasing at an alarming rate from all the stupid antics Professor Fran put them through.

'Ah. Good question. Stupid angel shark commander number two. We're here because-' here Professor Fran stood directly behind him and for a second Harry thought that Professor Fran was going to do bad things that past primary teachers warned him about. '-I thought you needed to swim.'

'Wait, what?' asked Harry but it was too late.

Professor Fran had pushed him off the cliff towards the nearest water source a good ten metres from the ground they stood on.

Harry didn't want to die! Not here! And certainly not because of this! He had things to live for like killing Voldemort or even finally killing all the pineapples with his love of his live, the butcher knife!

So with a scream that was torn out of his mouth he clung onto the cliff. The hard edges scrapping against his cheeks and hands. His shoulders shaking with the effort it took to keep his body along the cliff face.

'You bastard!' screamed Harry towards Professor Fran.

'I wouldn't know. I didn't know my parents. Only my poor Nonna.'

'You're still a bastard!'

'This is a cliff hanger. It means that you don't know what will happen next.' Harry heard Professor Fran say from above him.

Harry thought the last word that the business man said was "life".

* * *

**Can anyone guess the three words yet?**

**Anyway most of you are probably wondering why three chapters in such a short period of time? Well I'm on holidays so that means I'm happier and I'm writing more.**

**Also there is a poll on my profile page, please vote because I want to see which one would be best for the choice game.**

**Also sorry about the very late chapter once again, I was waiting for a few more reviews and stuff then I just put it off for about 21 days, according to doc manager.**


	19. Chapter 19: Werewolf

**KHR and HP are not mine and only the torture of Harry and several other characters are my idea, in other news I finally hit Mukuro! And by that I mean I finally hit 69 reviews, now I'm going to try for either a Chrome or a Byakuran.**

**Thanks to:**

**Xognadora, Zolazola and A Dark Lullaby for favouriting~!**

**And Zolazola for following~**

**To:**

**Zantetsuken Reverse: I actually forgot that Harry couldn't swim due to the fact the Dursleys' never taught him, I probably figured at the time if his Primary schooling was anything like mine then it probably was included in the schooling but now I'm not too sure as I've never had British schooling. Wow I said schooling a lot.**

**Fi Suki Saki: Fran just did it because he could and why not punish the idiotic group by ditching off the side of a cliff. I'm pretty sure canon!Fran would had done just that if he had the chance, no matter that it wasn't the real idiotic group.**

**Xenairge: Okay so I only made one review feedback thing for you because you gave me 10 reviews at once and so I thank you for that because even if I don't publicly announce that I want reviews I am very happy to receive them...and I'm also versing a friend on for who can get the most reviews so you placing 10 at once just bumped me up a lot. My reasoning that Harry thought Bell sen Pie was Molly is in one of these chapters somewhere...just need to remember which one...Also thanks for the votes! They will help~! Muahhahahaha!**

**Haku: Fine I will call you Haku but this means I will forever remember you as a gender-confused boy that is in a Master-Servant relationship. =P Also I have to say the saying you thought was wrong, unfortunately, try more internet memes and you may get it.**

* * *

**Chapter 19: Werewolf**

Draco Malfoy, heir of the House of Malfoy and current "Prince of Slytherin" of his year, was disgusted at the blatant mud that tainted the Slytherin House. Yes, he was talking about Professor Fran or rather Fran the Phoney as he was known to the Slytherin House.

Draco could understand Professor Snape, the Head of Slytherin House, as he was a half-blood and couldn't help that his mother was sucked in by the horrible muggles that surround the magical world as everyone knew women were weaker emotionally than men like in the case of Professor Snape's mother or Draco's own aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange, who was mentally insane. There was no helping them.

However it was because Fran the Phoney that they had to do "getting-to-know" games and Draco rather not know about Nott's foot problem or Goyle's bowel problems. In fact all Draco got out of this was the fact that Fran the Phoney hated frogs and loud annoying people.

Draco could have found that out in class! In fact he did and still knew more about Fran the Phoney in class than in those stupid muggle games!

Stupid muggle loving Dumbledore and Fran the Phoney.

No matter as at the end of the year Fran the Phoney will be gone thanks to the curse on the DADA teaching spots.

However what made today especially weird around Fran the Phoney was he had a pet werewolf.

The beast had blonde fur with what looked to be female hair clips, when the beast was clearly male, and a white stripe across its nose and its tongue constantly out. Some of the girls in Slytherin cooed over the beast but they couldn't see that it was clearly a werewolf.

So in class Draco confronted Fran the Phoney.

'Professor Fran why, in Merlin's name, do you have a pet werewolf?' asked Draco putting as much condescending tone into his voice as possible in the middle of the lesson, not like they were actually learning anything. His statement caused whispers around the room, even saint bloody Potter looked surprised.

'Eh. Pet werewolf. You have werewolves. I thought they were only myths.' Quite obviously Fran the Phoney either didn't register his tone of voice or ignored it, Draco was leaning towards the former as he didn't think Fran the Phoney was capable of ignoring someone of his stature.

'Yes, the blonde beast that you were with earlier on today,'

'Oh. You mean Dog Breath. He was here because my perverted Master sent him here and like the good doggy he is he did what he was told.'

Was it right that Draco could hear capital letters for the words "dog" and "breath"? Also who in Lady Morgana's name was Fran the Phoney's master? Draco briefly entertained himself with the fact it could be Dumledore but dismissed it immediately as Dumbledore wasn't perverted or red eyed and Fran the Phoney couldn't be in the Dark Lord's service, the Dark Lord wasn't perverted.

At least Draco sincerely hoped not because that was his future right there and his Father certainly did not tell him about this.

Fran the Phoney must had thought of them as dumb as well, he really did, because no one would believe a lie like the one he just told!

'No, really, what was it doing here?'

Fran the Phoney blinked once, slowly, as if to tell Draco that the phoney thought that _he_ was the stupid one.

Once the stupid muggle loving teacher got out of this school Draco will run him to the ground.

'Are you feeling well Bell sen pie number two?' Oh how Draco detested that name, why couldn't he be Boss instead of the Zabini heir?

'I am perfectly fine,' Draco said with gritted teeth.

'I could always-' here the door slammed open but Draco could still see Fran the Phoney's mouth open and close. '- if you want.'

'Ah ha! Finally found you, stupid brat!' the mudblood Granger gasped but the rest of the class could hardly care although Zabini already got a House Elf to bring him popcorn 'How dare you leave me back there! I had to smell you out to find you!'

The thing speaking, if it could be called that, was the werewolf. Except now it was wearing muggle clothing, truly disgraceful.

'I thought you left to find Master or Four-eyes to come back.'

'Don't lie to me!'

'I don't lie.'

'Yes you do! Remember the time you threatened to poke my eyes out if I didn't give you a proper meal and you still did it anyway after I gave you the meal?!'

'I was fifteen and that meal sucked worse than my grandmother's cooking.'

'You still did it!'

'And you're completely fine.'

'I had to go into surgery!'

'Professor Fran, why in Merlin's name, is your pet werewolf in the class let alone the school?' Draco interrupted their quaint time together although Zabini was now shooting glares at him.

'He followed me here.' 'His master sent me here to deliver a message as a punishment,' they said these things at the same time.

Luckily for Draco they sounded so different otherwise he wouldn't have been able to hear them clearly.

'Does Professor Dumbledore know it's here?' asked Draco hoping in his heart that Hogwarts couldn't be any lower class than it already was.

'Does he know you're here.' said Professor Fran to the class. Draco couldn't tell if it was a statement or a question.

'How am I meant to know?! Besides who is this brat?'

Brat?! Draco will show him who's a brat!

'Bell sen pie number two.'

'Ah. You mean the knife throwing one that you get screwed over by?' What?!

Draco really didn't want to know _that_ part of his teacher's lives!

'I don't get, as you say, screwed by Bell sen pie.' Wait a moment, wasn't Fran the Phoney's nickname for him Bell sen pie number two? Then...Draco blanched at the implications. Now Draco really, really didn't want to know about his teacher's love lives.

'Oh? And what do you call it?'

'Being annoyed and stabbed.' So, the phoney didn't have a lover that looked like Draco?

'The psycho's scent is still on you,' Oh Merlin's saggy left pants! Draco didn't want to be at Hogwarts any longer, not with Fran the Phoney around!

'Bell sen pie threatened me to wear this stupid necklace.' and as if to prove that the phoney was right he pointed to a small sliver necklace around his neck.

'Fine. I don't care what you do in your free time-' Fran the Phoney interrupted with 'what free time. If I had free time I'd focus on running away from the idiotic group.' '-but send your reports to the boss!'

'He didn't get my dancing pineapples.' Interestingly enough saint Potter paled at the words dancing pineapples, not that Draco was looking over towards him or anything.

'He destroyed those,' the werewolf said dryly.

'Too bad. Those had my reports in their singing.'

'You really want to die,'

'Of course not.'

'You know what? I think I'll just leave you to your punishment, stupid useless brat,'

'Goodbye Dog Breath.'

'Why you...!'

The werewolf started to run towards Fran the Phoney at incredible speed only to be stopped by two figures, one man wearing a white hat thing on his head with glasses and a weird tattoo (yes Draco did know what those were but still thought of them as disgraceful) and a pretty young woman with an eye patch on one of her eyes and shoulder length purple hair. The man look blank but the woman stared at the werewolf with sorrowful eyes.

'That's playing dirty!' screamed the werewolf.

'No it isn't. It's the way Master taught me.'

'I'll get you! Just wait!'

'I'll be waiting then.'

The werewolf growled before stomping off, may be Undersecretary Umbridge will like to know about this incident?

'That class is how you deal with a werewolf. Now back to spotting Cavity Fairies.'

* * *

**Yep! We finally find out that Fran really was a Slytherin all along~ Aww a happy ending. **

**Also my Draco is quite misogynistic but with hope his mother sorts him out. It probably didn't help when Hermione punched him in the nose in book 3...so sorry to Draco lovers and sorry to people that hate misogyny as well.**

**P.S. It also took me a while to figure out a degrading nickname for Fran, who knew it could be so hard?**


	20. Chapter 20: This far already?

**KHR and HP aren't mine as much as I wish they would be but alas poor Yorick I knew him well. Shakespeare's work is not mine either.**

**Thanks to:**

**Hibarilova18, PCheshire, YumeNoKuni, ShadowPhoenix15, Unknown Being, Mishera, AndDownWeGo and ShiroNekoNeko for favouriting.**

**5862-senbonzakura, PCheshire, Valeria Wahnsinn, Unknown Being and Mishera for following.**

**Also thanks to: SydneyInWonderland and nico123 for favouriting one of my other works.**

**Thanks to: nico123 for following A story without drama is not a story at all.**

**To:**

**Haku: Hmmm you got me to think of something again~ An insane Draco...it would match Bel's outlook in life, no? =D**

**zem107: Thank you so much! I tried, I actually tried during that chapter and I think I wrote it over two days instead of the usual month absence.**

**Fi Suki Suki: Hey if you were in Hogwarts you immediate thought would be Ken is a werewolf too, just look at his wild hair and rolling tongue and when he gets those wolf teeth in. So yes, he'd be a werewolf for sure. =A= Yeah I tried to trick everyone that Fran might just be a Hufflepuff and thanks I guess for it working?  
(imagine that, Fran as a Huffer. They're be mentally scarred for life or may be Fran would be with that over cheefulness. He might call them all Gay Lords, lol.)  
Oh! You'll see in time why Fran is there (probably right at the end OTL). It's a plot point. A plot point, can you imagine this actually being a story instead of a bunch of random oneshots that feature Fran tor-...er teaching the Hogwarts students and tor-...talking to the staff?**

**ZentetsukenReverse: Yep, Draco's sexist and Ken is their version of a werewolf. Of course Fran can use illusions~ You forget in KHR-verse TYL!Fran is acknowledged as one of the 5 mist users that can fool the Vindice.  
Say Mammon was one (though dead at that time), Mukuro was another (in the prison), Chrome was another (on the run), say Daemon was one (dead probably) and the last was Fran that makes all 5. Although one of Bakuran's guys might had been part of that 5 set of misties as they were never properly named.  
It's only logical that Fran could use super powered illusions as Mukuro is his Master, he has a Hell Ring (probably, OTL should I add that? Naa.) and was part of Verde's team with his technology in KHR-verse. (Why didn't they use that to make proper organs for Chrome? You don't have to answer that.)**

**Xenairge: Thanks so much for liking the almost random sentences that I create. In my mind Draco would just assume that Fran the Phony would have a pet werewolf and Fran would just be trolling the whole class with Draco in it about his (may be) non existent love life with Bel. Actually Fran would troll the whole class especially if Draco was in the class for everyone to jump conclusions to. However thank you for saying I made your day, it left me smiling all through Maths class (I needed it!). =D**

**Unknown Being: Thanks I try! It's tough trying to get the right amount of deadpan snarker and trolling that only Fran seems capable of.**

**Warning: Almost distinct lack of humour and Fran around. I actually have a plot, oh the horror!**

* * *

**Chapter 20: This far already? **

Once again it was a Hogsmeade weekend and this time there was defiantly no Snape, Fran Umbridge, Malfoy and no Boss.

Life was good.

On this cheerful day Hermione had convinced him to be the DADA group's teacher, bloody bint, so here they were in a shady bar with an even shadier bartender with a fetish for goats.

'So you both remember what is happening?' whispered Hermione, probably subconsciously imitating Molly the Cheater.

'Yes Hermione,' said both Ron and himself in the same bored monotone voice, were they acting out what happens between Molly and Professor Fran when they meet up?

'Here Ron, give the bartender extra to keep quiet,' said Hermione handing over about thirty sickles to Ron, this is edging closer and closer to the Molly meets Professor Fran at shady pubs incidents by the minute.

Could Ginny, Ron's only sister and youngest of the Weasley family, be Professor Fran's child?

During this inner musings of Harry's he seemed to had missed Hermione and Ron's whole argument as Ron was now at the bar looking incredibly shady giving money over to the bartender and conversing lowly with him.

'Hermione how old is Professor Fran?' Hermione gave him an odd look as if trying to see into his soul.

'He's twenty-one, Harry,' So this means that Ginny wasn't Professor Fran's child? At least Arthur will be happy all his children is his own, at least Harry thought so. It was a little hard to tell when both parents had red hair.

Ron came back looking very surly and grumpy.

'Well?' asked Hermione eagerly.

'It's done,' said Ron in a bitter tone. Why did this remind Harry of those Mafia movies or was it of the Walt Disney films that his primary school class had to watch?

'Excellent! Any change?' chirped Hermione happily. Hermione would make a really good Witch Queen in Snow White.

'No, he took it all,' said Ron in a defeated tone now. Ron would make a good Huntsman that did the Witch Queen's bidding.

'What room?' asked Hermione. All Hermione needed to add was "is the girl's heart in?" to that statement...

'Number four,'

'Okay, we should check out the room just before everyone comes here,'

The three of them entered the room and the word dusty would have been the only polite term for the room however there were other words for it as well.

'Blimey! This place is worse than Charlie's room!'

'Ron! This is the only room big enough for all of us. You're a wizard are you not? Use some cleaning spells if you think it's so bad,'

'But-'

'Ronald Bilius Weasley, if you were just about to say that cleaning spells are for girls I'll hex you so badly your own mother wouldn't be able to recognise you,' Hermione was really good with threats.

'No! I just about to say I don't know any cleaning spells that would fix this place. It's so dirty that even Merlin wouldn't be able to help this room,' Nice come back, Ron.

'Oh. Well let's try anyway,' said Hermione with a tinge of pink across her cheeks.

It took them thirteen different cleaning spells and twenty-six minutes to clean the room to "acceptable", Hermione's words not his.

'Now to wait for everyone to come and we can get back up here after they sign everything,'

'I'll order us some Butter Beers,' said Harry just waiting to get away from this _room_ if it could be called that. Harry could have fixed the room up better with a bucket of water and sponge, in fact he did. Seven years ago he had done just that with a different room, of course.

'Okay,' said Ron looking much happier at the mention of Butter Beer.

Walking down the stairs Harry could see a few early birds lingering in the pub and nodded towards a few of them before going straight to the bartender.

'Three Butter Beers,' called Harry to the Barkeep, who looked suspiciously familiar.

'3 sickles and 4 knuts,' replied the Barkeep in a low gruff tone. Someone needs a throat soother Harry thought to himself.

Bring up the Butter Beers Harry waited half an hour until the first people of this club arrived. Half an hour.

Harry was safely bored out of his mind after half an hour of watching Ron and Hermione make eyes at each other, well more like Ron making eyes at Hermione while she ranted on and on and on.

The first to come through were the Weasley twins followed by their friend Jordan something. Harry couldn't full remember his name because he didn't meet him regularly and when Jordan was doing Quidditch announcements Harry was far too high in the air.

Soon many people came through in groups of two or three with the exception of Luna Lovegood, a ditzy blonde haired girl in Ginny's year, who danced through like she was swept up by the wind.

Harry couldn't count them all and defiantly felt nervous around so many people, not to mention defending himself again some of their remarks. Damn Finch-Fletchy or whatever his name was.

However Hermione also brought out parchment for everyone to write their names onto and Ginny got the good idea that they should call it Dumbledore's Army...he was turning more sarcastic by the second, was Professor Fran a mental disease?

For that matter damn Hermione for convincing him. This was never going to be a good idea.

After everyone had signed their name they turned to leave in small groups once again to edge off suspicion that something big might be happening.

As Harry was leaving he looked over to one of the shorter students from behind in the crowd that was just about to leave with Luna and Ginny. Was there always a kid in the years below with green and red hair in a bowl cut...with what looked to be an apple stalk and leaf growing out of their head?

Harry looked over at the parchment innocently lying on the table Hermione left it on. He found the kid's name under Ginny's name.

Anrf. Anrf Doroku.

Poor kid must have had some pretty weird parents to have a name like Anrf, how does a person even say Anrf anyway? wondered Harry.

* * *

The next Monday was torture. First Professor Umbridge made new rules about clubs. Who in the name of Merlin told her?

Second Professor Fran called him to his office, on one of the non-Fran day that Harry had. It was like asking Neville to go to Snape on a weekend for a two hour long belittling.

When Harry got to the classroom was when the third thing happened.

'So you're this far in already.' questioned Professor Fran the moment he closed the door.

'W-what?' yelled Harry in confusion. What was Professor Fran on?

'The ADAD classes and club.'

'...do you possibly mean DADA?'

'That's what I said.'

'No you said- you know what never mind,' sighed Harry, there was no real point in arguing with this Death Eater anyway.

...Actually why was he alone with a Death Eater in the first place didn't he learn from the last time? When Ced- no Harry was not going to go there ever. Not again. Not ever.

Harry also suddenly realised something important.

'Wait! What club?' yelled Harry once again.

'Your ADAD club. The one you meet at the shady bar in. Like you were a red lady that goes into bars like that and offers her services that Master always speaks about. Actually Master always speaks about the Big Boss. The Boss that is higher than Boss. Does this mean that Big Boss is a red lady.'

How in Merlin's left pant did Professor Fran know about the meeting on Saturday?!

Harry was having a minor breakdown at this news but he was dimly aware that apparently Professor Dumbledore had a boss and slightly wondered who it was.

Also the "Big Boss" was a red lady? What was a red lady?

Harry will have to ask Hermione about them later, those "red lady" people might be in Voldemort's Death Eater group.

* * *

**Anrf is an anagram of Fran, do you know how hard it is to make anagrams of Fran's name? It was Anrf or Narf although Narf you're able to pronounce it just isn't cool enough but looks kinda like Nerf as in Nerf Guns.**

**Doroku is an anagram of both Chrome (Kuromu Dokuro) and Mukuro Rodoku's last name as I'd figure it'll be something like that if he ever used an alias, just to screw over his Master like that. Actually I was pretty tempted to make Fran's first name as Kumuro but Fran must be Fran.**

**I also figured Fran would either purposely forgot or get wrong the subject he's teaching just to troll.**

**A red lady is, a harlot or rather in modern day language, a prostitute. Imagine if every single prostitute joined the Death Eaters, I'd think Voldemort might had won.**

**So yeah, Anrf Doroku is Fran. =D It might be important later~ (Not likely...)**

**Thanks for voting everyone!**

**P.S. Thanks to everyone who favourited, I'm now up to Gokudera's number! *Squeal* Thank you so much!**


	21. Chapter 21: Watching

**Disclaimer: None is mine. Well, most of it is not mine.**

**Thanks to:**

**HibirdLover, kimhuongngyen99 and bloodpirette for favouriting.**

**yuri, psychotic luv, JRZTimeTravel, ELinkA, bloodpirette and sepulkath for following.**

**bloodpirette for favouriting me.**

**bloodpirette for following me.**

**To:**

**Hibarilova18: *cries* Thank you for being so nice!**

**Zantetsuken Reverse: Yeah I did know Chrome's name is an anagram of Mukuro's name. And yes, the scene changed because I can't remember it all or all of their names and got too lazy to look it up. =A="**

**Fi Suki Saki: Yep, Fran would do that. You can never be too careful about Fran. The Big boss is Tsuna, Boss is Xanxus, Master is Mukuro who is mistaken for Voldemort (not much of a difference really).**

**YumeNoKuni: I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, pretty much the point of this story. =D**

**psychotic luv: Harry is a little stupid in this but that's because he assumes too much and you know the saying, "Assuming makes an ass out of you and me." =D**

**Leolnuyuka: ONFLSDJZGFUAJ! You! You are my dream reader. Probably shouldn't say that. To your review #3: Yep by crossdressing I did mean Chrome, to review #8: Yep, it's surprising isn't it but I figured that Fran gets more abuse from Varia than anything the Weasley twins could come up with. Review #9: You know it's true. He'd so get arrested again and make Tsuna bail him out this time.**

**HakumeiTwinBlade: Hmmmm, you know what? I should put Gokudera in here somewhere. Just for kicks and bombs.**

**I swear half of this is just AN and answering reviews. =A=**

* * *

**Chapter 21: (I'm) Watching (you)**

It happened once again in the Great Hall. The morning owl post was in full succession as owls of every natural colour and breed swooped down to their respective owners delivering important letters from home and newspapers for those of more studious minds and political natures.

Harry was actually waiting for a letter from Sirius, his on-the-run godfather who didn't commit any crimes, about what was going on in the Wizarding world.

He had been waiting for this letter for a while now, the task entrusted to his faithful owl; Hedwig. However it had been a while since he last saw Hedwig and she was usually quite fast when travelling.

It was quite worrying actually, for Harry, and it seemed like Hedwig wasn't coming today either.

Sullen, Harry ate his toast in silence, not even offering to share or hear any latest gossip about Professor Fran and what he did the previous day.

Suddenly Hedwig appeared out of nowhere in the last bit of the flock of owls flooding the Great Hall.

'Hedwig! Hedwig! Here girl! Come here...Hedwig?' shouted Harry over the noise as he watched Hedwig fly right past him towards the teacher's table.

'What was that about, mate?' asked Ron, stuffing more eggs into his mouth as he went along causing Hermione to give a disgusted glare at him for doing so.

'Hedwig, she went right up to the teacher's table...' said Harry mournfully, why didn't Hedwig come to him? Didn't she have a letter for him?

'Hey! Look!' whispered Hermione as she pointed to where Hedwig had landed. It was Professor Fran's section of the table, the end part as he had been moved to at the end of his sorting, right next to Snape as Professor Dumbledore had placed him.

'What's Hedwig doing near Professor Fran?' asked Harry. It wasn't enough that Sirius wasn't sending him letters but was sending Professor Fran letters instead!

Next time Harry wrote a letter to Sirius it was going to be full of angry words...why did it sound like he was Sirius's wife or, worse, his mother?

Harry made his decision as Hedwig was his owl he was going to get her back by going up to the teacher's table and asking for her back.

Standing up to go to the teacher's table he quickly realised that he didn't need to as Professor Fran was coming down the hall with Hedwig on his fake toad hat.

'Professor Fran!' Harry shouted over the noise and the Great Hall had dropped a bit silent at his yelling but not too much as there was still noise going on.

'Ah. Loud, stupid, long haired second-in-command number two. What do you want.' asked Professor Fran, well not asked but commented...in a monotone.

'Hedwig! Um...you see that is my owl, Hedwig, and I want her back,' blurted out Harry feeling the eyes of many people in the hall staring at him.

'Eh. Hedwig. This isn't your owl. It's my Master's owl. See.' Said Professor Fran pointing up at Hedwig, no matter what Professor Fran said it was still Hedwig on his hat.

'That can't be! This is my owl, Hedwig! She's went off to deliver a letter for me and now she's here again,'

'Ah. Isn't that funny that you think Master's owl is a girl. May be it is a girl and Master just wants to possess the bodies of girls. Would explain a lot.'

Actually what Professor Fran said seemed legitimate to Harry as he remembered his second year and how that memory of Voldemort wanted to possess Ginny.

'My owl is a girl! If you're so sure that is your master's owl then prove it!'

'The owl's name is Mukurowl. Sometimes it's Mukurou.'

'What?' Harry just blinked at this. Moocooroo owl, what kind of name is that? Or even Moocooroo?

'The owl's name. It also laughs like the girly paedophile Master.'

'Birds can't laugh,' said Harry because not even in the magical world as far as Harry knew could birds laugh without the help of magic and Hedwig was certainly not magical.

Although as Harry just said that as if to spite him, Hedwig or Moocooroo, laughed. She laughed a really creepy laugh that went something like "Coofufufufufu".

'I didn't know Hedwig could do that!' exclaimed Harry as he heard that creepy laugh.

'Your owl can't do that. This is Mukurowl. May be you mixed up the owls.'

'I can't have! Hedwig is the only white owl around and of her size too!'

Then Hedwig did the single most creepiest thing Harry had ever seen, and he had seen a lot, she turned to stare at him. One of her eyes was blood red and the other one was a deep blue instead of her usual yellow eyes.

It reminded Harry of the pineapples and his strange nightmares involving the blue pineapple.

'Pineapples...' whispered Harry but it seemed that the mutated Hedwig had heard him because it seemed to glare at him.

'I-I think I do have the wrong owl, sorry Professor Fran,' said Harry as he walked back up to his table, the mental scarring that he tried so hard to forget about the pineapples were returning.

'Isn't noisy, nosy, girly, commander, weird.' asked Professor Fran but it seemed the mutated Hedwig hooted in agreement.

No that wasn't Harry's owl; Harry's owl would have disagreed with Professor Fran all the way and wouldn't have even gone close to Professor Fran in the first place.

Yes, Harry decided, that thing wasn't his owl and went back to eating his toast, ignoring everyone else that tried to talk to him.

It was later that night Harry had the strangest nightmare that the blue pineapple turned into the fake Hedwig and told him "I'm watching you", it was also the part Harry woke up screaming.

* * *

**Hehe. Making Harry wake up from nightmares of Mukuro is half my fun.**

**Also this is for everyone: watch?v=nCQGQ5qBQTA because you know it's true. =D**


	22. Chapter 22: Umbridge

**HP and KHR are not mine however if they were then Tsuna would have his own harem (oh wait! He already has that!) and so would Harry (I'm still waiting on that J.K. Rowling!).**

**Thanks to:**

**Ingmina, Tsumugi Hitomi, Sanguivore, phxjkr88, The lone cloud (cool name~!), LoverOfPaper, Hell Changer, SouthParkRules642, Phantom Player ********(Kuroko, is that you?),** Lulzlullylulz, Tagamie, reader713, Pond Ram and Reaper7 for following~! 

**=A= Just looking at the amount of people just following so far I have to say I am sorry for the infrequent updating. I was waiting until I had 69 favourites so I could say I had a Mukuro amount of favourites but I'm really happy a lot of people seem to like this story so I want to thank everyone right now for reading up to this far!**

******Tsumugi Hitomi, phxjkr88, The lone cloud, LoverOfPaper, SouthParkRules642, He-who-runs-into-walls (Are you possibly called Harry?), Phantom Player and Pond Ram for favouriting!**

******Reviews:**

******HakumeiTwinBlade: Shhhhhhhhhhh! Stop giving me great ideas for a plot although I might just say it could happen, not saying anything of course ;)**

******painxsmile: Ah! I'm so glad I can give you a laugh! And Bel may or may not be in this story, you'll just have to find out soon =D (aka I don't know anything about my plot yet OTL)**

******Zantetsuken Reverse: Well I when I created chapter 21 I thought Harry wouldn't want to be sitting near the teachers and was probably too desperate for a letter from Sirius to notice he had the wrong owl.**

******Sanguinary Tide: Well I did think of Afnr but I also thought that it was a bunch of letters mixed together and wondered how I would pronounce that but gave up in the end =A=" But thanks for the name as well =D**

******Fi Suki Saki: Well what you said was all true, hehe, but well Harry does wear glasses for a reason and, true story, I wear glasses but whenever I see a women around my mother's age and skin tone I go "Hey! There's my mum!" but usually never is OTL. Lucky for me I never go up those women saying "Hey mum!" so I only feel embarrassment and not shame _and_ embarrassment. So I think it would be around the same for Harry. =A=**

******Sanguivore: How did you know what those pineapples were going to do? Was I too obvious with that? If I was then I'll have to go change the plot, wouldn't want everyone to know I was going to use those pineapples to turn Harry dark =D Oh wait...nuts, there goes my plot.=A=  
But thank you for the encouragement! I went back today to read all my reviews and I think I skipped someone for a review which kinda made me slightly depressed but most of them made me feel happy, just on the day I needed it!**

******ShinobiTwin05: =A= Thanks for that! Nobody bothered to tell me what Dragon fruit looked like but I'm glad someone bothered! I'm going to change it right now...or soon...or later...someday...=D**

******He-who-runs-into-walls: I was actually thinking of Harry's element and while I thought briefly of making him a sky I thought the better of it because anyone can lead another like Squalo or Reborn and the way people act don't have to be their element either again Squalo or Reborn or hell even Byakuran. However he could be cloud with hints of sun. Oh well we shall see how I've changed him later on and decide=D**

******reader713: While Varia _might_ show up later I will be bring them one by one since the rest of them have to work and, you know, assassinate people and chuck bottles at people or something.**

******Reaper7: So which chapter did you lose pity for him? =D Ah! And thank you for telling me about the "may/be" thing I was aware that I did that but that was because each chapter is created on Word first then put on but Word kept telling me to use "may be" instead of "maybe" so I kept doing that but on this chapter it told me to do "maybe". So I'm a little confused about it now =A="**

******Everyone: Thank you so much for reading even if you don't favourite, follow or review. \(=A=)/**

* * *

**Chapter 22: Umbridge**

That day for Harry was going swimmingly horrible. It was more like Harry was drowning than swimming in any case as Professor Fran seemed to prefer the sink or swim method of teaching.

Quite literally as well since the whole class was by the Black Lake watching Harry try and swim with Grindylows tugging on his feet.

Needless to say it was a usual lesson with Professor Fran where Harry has to fight for his life and nobody seems to hear him scream for his life, not even his friends who were on the bank of the lake chatting to each other and others.

Professor Fran only wanted one person at a time in the lake which he said was because "...that way I can keep an eye on that person in the lake." Which was a whole lot of Dragon dung because he seemed to be answering Hermione's questions towards him, not even facing Harry or watching him!

Professor Fran was teaching them how to swim after he learnt not so many students in his classes could swim. Molly the Malfoy aka Draco Malfoy or "Bell-sen-pie number two" as he was called by Professor Fran was mimicking Harry drowning to his friends.

Bloody Slytherins.

He could see Harry drowning but wasn't doing a damn thing about it! And it was getting kind of cold in the lake, being September and all...

Boss number two was watching as well from a fair distance away from everyone and also doing nothing to try and help Harry out.

Nothing could get worse, not even an attack from Voldemort (the apparent paedophile).

Harry could faintly see a pink blur in the distance, or was that just his vision going as he was drowning?

It was defiantly a pink blur he could see as someone, probably Hermione or Ron, finally got Professor Fran to take him out of the water by sending in another student. Someone with darkish skin or could that just be seaweed on their skin?

False alarm about Boss number two being his rescuer, it was just Neville.

'...see...commander number two...Big Boss number two...teaching...die...' Harry could hear Professor Fran faintly as the water in his ears was blocking what he was actually saying. Although Boss number two seemed a bit angry to him and Molly number two was scoffing at something.

Finally Harry looked at Professor Fran and just stared.

Standing next to him was Professor Umbridge. It seemed it could get worse.

Professor Umbridge was "inspecting" all the classes to make the teacher's and students' lives a living hell by interrupting them and making everyone nervous.

Here though she seemed to be frustrated and angry, Professor Fran was probably being his usual stuff.

'Mister Potter! Is it true that you volunteered yourself to go swimming and Professor Fran tried to stop you but you insisted?' said Professor Umbridge in her high pitched tone, damn she was ugly.

'Err...wha-? Yeeees...?' said Harry eloquently, that was a lie as he had been in the water for so long he didn't know what to say and Professor Umbridge asked just so quickly.

'I believe that is a detention Mister Potter for ignoring a teacher's order, maybe I should make you write out "I must listen to my teachers." until the words _set in _again,' said Professor Umbridge in an overly sweet tone. It was grating on the ears, if Harry could stop hearing as if he was still underwater.

Harry nodded dumbly, too tired to argue with the _witch_ and sleepiness set in from being outside in the cold for so long.

Hermione rushed to him and fussed, warming him up with a warming charm.

'Professor Fran, could I take Harry to the infirmary? He was out here for a long time!' said Hermione, bouncing around a little with worry.

'Eh. But what I went swimming like this I didn't need to go to the infirmary. I'm sure he can go right back out there for another swim. I did.' Said Professor Fran as he seemed to gaze at the lake, although he could just be bored out of his mind as well.

'Professor Fran! Harry needs medical attention!' yelled Hermione and Ron grabbed Harry from under his arms.

Professor Fran's shoulders drooped a little bit.

'Fine. Take him away to the infirmary. Tomato and Kiwi fruit.' Said Professor Fran after an about two minutes of just gazing at the lake. Two whole minutes that Harry could have spent rushing to the infirmary to get a Pepper-up potion.

And rushed the trio did as Harry started to go numb. Madame Pomfrey fussed over Harry talking about the silliness of young men and boys and about swimming in autumn. Harry did try and tell her that it wasn't his fault but she didn't listen.

Adults usually don't listen to children. They only listen when the children are begging for something. _However if that was the case_ Harry mused _then the Dursleys' listen to me all the time and punish me for taking up their time while they listened to me._

'So what was Professor Fran saying before Professor Umbridge-' Hermione muttered under her breathe that sounded suspiciously like "Umbitch" when Harry said Umbridge '-questioned me about swimming in the lake?' asked Harry.

'Weren't you listening?' asked Hermione sharply.

'I had water in my ears so I couldn't hear very well,' said Harry.

'Professor Fran declared Neville to be "Big Boss number two" for some reason,' said Ron, eager to put something in the conversation.

'What?' asked Harry in a deadpan voice, scaring his two best friends as he sounded just like Professor Fran that they had to resist turning their heads around to check if Professor Fran was behind them.

It was very scary.

* * *

**Just realised that putting Fran in Slytherin was horrible and cruel of me. You know Mammon's familiar was? A frog, a frog that turned into a symbol of ouroboro, which is traditionally either a dragon (fullmetal alchemist) or a snake that tries to eat its own tail. Guess which house Fran is in? OTL everything about Fran almost relates back to Mammon or am I just over thinking things? =A=**

**Also, Harry nearly dies in this chapter from drowning and Neville is named Tsuna! We found Tsuna~! (Finally, huh? Now onto the real Varia but not too soon, Ufufufufufufufufuk -Fran's creepy laugh, lol. Chrome would have "Ukufufufufufufufuf") \(-A-)\**

**Ah! We're getting very close to a "special" chapter; chapter 26~! Which is Fran's chapter, yeah I went and nerded (yes I know that isn't a word but it is now to me) out on the reborn wiki to look up the shorthand numbers then based special chapters around those numbers, I even found Shamal's number!**

**Also I was very upset when I heard the rumoured "sequel" to KHR which may or may not have Vongola the 15th involved was not real, it was just a poster that Akira Amino created but the kid on there looks like a mixture of Basil and Tsuna! (Tuna with Basil shipping anyone?) but apparently the anime is going to do the inheritance arc which I'm excited for! I just hope there is more Fran in there~!**


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